Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Guerrilla Warfare ~ Kindness Style

As the jack-o-lanterns disappear, turkeys and cornucopias slowly take their place. Thanksgiving is just around the corner with Christmas right behind. For many it is a time of love and celebration, but there are also a whole lot of people that dread this time of year because they feel alone, unloved, and depressed. Even more feel stressed and stretched with all the busyness of the season.

While you're giving thanks for all the blessings in your life, try to take some time to give someone else something to be thankful for.

About a month ago, I was privileged to hear a woman speak who really reminded me that the ultimate in selfless giving is an act of kindness given with no expectation of anything in return. During a season of giving, that can be very difficult. I know I always have a generic gift or two under the tree in case someone shows up at my house with an unexpected present.

This woman, known on the internet as The Kindness Girl, has made it a main and vital part of her life to spread kindness in other people's lives in such a way that they can't pay it back, so all they can do is sit back and be loved. It's been called Random Acts of Kindness, Paying It Forward, and countless other things, but the idea remains the same. I like how Kindness Girl phrases it - Guerrilla Goodness.

Guerrilla warfare is a form of combat where small groups of combatants ambush their adversaries, catching them off guard and then disappearing as quickly as they came, leaving devastation in their wake.


Guerrilla Goodness follows the same philosophy - Pop up, spread some love, then run away leaving only the love behind, without any guilt or stress to return the favor. It's good for you, too. Because when you are engaging your brain in finding ways to be kind, you aren't focusing on the bad things. You'll start seeing others with gentler eyes, looking for ways to slip them a smile and remain anonymous.

Love the idea but need some ideas? Try one of these:

Ding Dong Ditch Your Neighbors

We did this with our kids recently. They. Loved. It. This works the same as the childhood prank except that you leave a small gift behind before you ring the bell and run for your life. You can see examples and videos at GuerrillaGoodness.com.

Deliver Cookies to Civil Servants

Police Station, Brunswick, GA, via Wikimedia Commons
This one is a little bit different because you'll actually be seen, but they won't know who you are. Stop by a fire or police station with a platter full of baked goodies. I absolutely love doing this because they are always so appreciative of the gesture.

In my experience, police stations are a little harder to deliver to than fire stations are, but it just depends on how the ones in your area are set up. If you have small children with you and they aren't busy, the fire stations will frequently give you a tour and let the kids see the fire engines. They don't always have time for this so don't be bummed if they just thank you and let you leave.

Mow a Lawn / Rake Some Leaves / Shovel a Sidewalk

The actual act may vary depending on where you live, but the gesture of anonymous yard work is always a good one. It can be a bit difficult to pull off - after all anyone who drives by will see you - but the act is huge. If you really want to be sneaky, do theirs but wait a day or two before doing your own. Then they'll never suspect you, assuming someone did it while they were doing their own.

Pay it Backward

This is really popular right now. When you're sitting at the drive thru, pay for the person behind you. Our McDonalds use the dual window system, so you would get totally caught doing it at one of those drive thrus, but there are still plenty of places where you could be on the road before the person behind you knows what you did.

Looking for more ways? Check out GuerrillaGoodness.com for loads of other ideas for spreading kindness around your life. She even has a Family Kindness Kit that you can download to start the kindness ball rolling right within your own family.

Have you had an experience giving or receiving an anonymous gift of love? What did you do or how did it make you feel?

Friday, November 2, 2012

Make It Happen ~ Life Lessons from Yoda

Do. Or do not. There is no try. - Yoda

In case you missed the news this week, Disney now owns Lucasfilm, which I suppose makes Leia an acceptable nomination for the next Disney princess. Whether or not you are a maniacal Star Wars fan, elements of the movie have made their way into your life as they seeped into our culture over the last forty years.

The above quote from Yoda is one of those things.

I've heard it, I've used it, and I'm guessing you probably have to. If you haven't, then you've at least seen Nike's version at some time in your life, Just Do It.

The mentality behind both of those famous statements is that "trying" makes failure an acceptable option. By saying "I'll try" you are saying that part of you thinks you won't actually succeed. Yoda and Nike both think that's a recipe for failure.

Think of something you've always wanted to do. How many times have you started? How many times have you quit?

I've been thinking about this a lot this week as many friends of mine gear up for NaNoWriMo.

If you've ever wanted to be a writer but aren't sure if you have it in you, I encourage you to tackle NaNoWriMo. You're only a day or two behind right now, so there's no excuse not to jump in. The idea is that you write a 50,000+ word novel in a month.

It's doable. That is what got me started writing (though I did it in June, not November, but still). Because if you nail your butt to the chair and hammer out 50,000 words, you can look at it and say, "I did it. Now is it any good? Is it something I want to pursue?"

If you never get those 50,000 words down? Well, you don't have the option of moving forward.

(One note here, if you do hammer out a novel this month, DO NOT assume it's ready to go come December. The only way you can throw down 50,000+ words in a month is if you ignore editing and rewriting entirely. Please don't assume a publish-ready book will spill from your fingers in 30 days unless your name is Nora Roberts. I think she spits books out in her sleep.)

I'm not in a position to write a new novel this month, but I have other things I want to do. So I'm making November Anti-Procrastination month for me. I have friends doing NaNoWriMo, so I intend to utilize and join in the encouragement but with some slightly adjusted goals.

Won't you join me? Throw try out the window and let's get it done. Where do you want to be on December 1. Break it into mini-goals - one for every day of the month of November. Not do them. No try, no maybe, no we'll see.

I think it's time we all take advice from a small, wrinkly green muppet in swoosh decorated sneakers. Let's do it.

This month I'm getting back into my favorite jeans and finishing some book proposal submittals that have been sitting on my desk for a while. What are you going to tackle this month?

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Society of Judgement

I've noticed something lately, and it's a bit disturbing.

We are a society of judges.

Photo by Salvatore Vuono, FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Maybe it's the prevalence of blogs, the psuedo-security of the perceived anonymity of social media like Facebook, or the focus on building everyone's self-esteem so they think they're more important than others, but I've noticed an awful lot of people spewing judgments lately.

Most of the time they don't have a lot of information, either.

For example, a few weeks ago, Melissa Rycroft hurt her neck during rehearsal of Dancing With the Stars. Possibly in an attempt to make sure people tuned in to the show, not much was released about the incident in which she injured herself.

Prior to watching the show, I came across an article talking about how Melissa should leave the flipping and crazy stunts to Shawn Johnson because as the mother of a young child she shouldn't risk such a serious injury. While there might be some validity to that assessment - Melissa does try some risky things - I had several problems with the article.

1. Melissa was injured doing a fairly basic move. 

At the time of the article, the true nature of the accident was unknown, but the author just assumed it was a fall during a daring lift. She made her assessment according to that assumption.

It wasn't correct.

Melissa doing some awesome dancing on DWTS. 
In truth, Melissa's injury was one of those freak accident kind of things - like when you turn around too fast when someone talks to you and manage to twist your ankle. Her tennis shoe gripped on the floor and her body twisted funny, causing the injury.

2. The author made assumptions about Melissa's background.

At one point the author says "Melissa was just on The Bachelor" so she shouldn't be doing these crazy stunts and flips.

Melissa was actually a professional cheerleader prior to her Bachelor days. She made be a little further from her flipping and twirling days than Shawn is, but that's a background that would inspire some fancy moves and risk. Admittedly, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders are more of a dance team than a flipping team, but the physical stamina and abilities are still higher than your average woman. That background would inspire me to be a bit riskier.


Then there's the whole Lance Armstrong debacle.

Now, I'm not an avid sports fan, so I haven't pored over every available article or know all the minute details about the case, but from the several things I have seen, the average person doesn't know much.

Here's about all I've been able to find out:
        - The USADA is charging Lance Armstrong with using banned substances and doping.
        - They have several former teammates who will testify to this - some of which are athletes who failed drug tests after previous major races.
        - Lance Armstrong never failed a drug test after winning a race (or ever that I can find documented).
        - Lance is tired of fighting the accusations, which he claims are false, so he is dropping his opposition to the charges.

Photo by de:Benutzer:Hase, via Wikimedia Commons
I'll be honest - that's not a lot of information. It's enough for a lot of people though. There's even several people demanding that charitable donations to Lance Armstrong's charity be returned. Nowhere in any of the articles I've seen does anyone dispute the fact that Armstrong beat testicular cancer or accuse his charity of misusing funds. Also, despite the USADA and several media outlets attempts to make it so, Armstrong's cessation of defense does not equate to an admission of guilt.

I'm reminded of a girl in my high school. She had the reputation as the, ahem, easiest girl in the class. Jokes were made about her, people shunned her, and pretty much her reputation was in shreds. In what is probably the natural progression of that type of reputation, the rumor started that she was pregnant.

I actually talked to her once after this rumor started spreading. She told me she was a virgin and that all of that stuff had been made up. Maybe I'm naive, but I believed her. Given the fact that her belly never got big and she didn't suddenly "move away" for six months, I'm inclined the think the rumors were false.

Maybe Lance is in that kind of position. There's a lot of people saying something different than what he's saying. And because we like to judge, we want the naysayers to be right. It seems we want people to do wrong things and make bad decisions so we can judge them out of turn and have something to talk about on our many blogs and talk shows and entertainment columns.

I don't know if we're snapping to these judgments so we can feel important or smart, or maybe to feel victimized by life, but I don't want a part of it.

That isn't to say that there aren't things or people that are wrong or that we can never stand on the fact/opinion that some things are right or wrong. All I'm calling for is that we gather as much information as we can and we be willing to say when we don't have enough.

Have you noticed a spirit of judgment in yourself or those around you? What can we do to help each other stop, take a breath, and do a little research before pronouncing judgement on each other?



Friday, October 26, 2012

And now a bit of church history...

Normally I share an object lesson or little life insight on Fridays, but this week, Regency Reflections featured an amazing article on the the shifts in faith and religion during the 18th and 19th centuries in England.

I think sometimes in America we forget all the turmoil and change that the churches went through  in Europe prior to the religious history in this country. The article, posted in three parts this week, looks at John Wesley and the start of the Methodist denomination, the impact of science and the industrial revolution on faith, and prominent and powerful English figures that held strong faith and values.

Today, I'm asking you to take the time you would normally spend reading my blog (okay, maybe a little more time than normal) and read God in the Regency by Regan Walker.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Fear of Success

"The more I learn, the less I know." 

I'm not sure who said that. I'd love to attribute it correctly, but the illustrious internet gave me three possible options and about twenty variations, so, sadly, I don't know who actually said it first.

Regardless of it's origins, it's message remains true. At least in writing. I've mentioned before the stunning distance my writing has come in the past year. The thing is, the more I learn what to change in my writing, the more intimidated I get.

Because if I've learned nothing else, it's this: It's hard to write well.

Image courtesy of Phaistoon, FreeDigitalPhotos.net
And the thing is, you don't really "get there". There's always classes, trends, workshops, inspirations, and insights that tweak the writing of even the most prolific of authors. While many successful writers have eschewed the classes and critique partners, you still see progress in their writing from the first book to their most recent.

All of this means it's really intimidating to knock of the door of the publishing world and say, "Hello, I'm ready."

When I first decided to pursue writing for real, my first stop was a GRW conference. My story idea garnered some attention and I gleefully sent off my submissions, excited that I could be the one in a million that gets to succeed right away.

Oh, the bliss of ignorance. I know cringe and crawl under a table when I think of the sample pages I sent to some editors last year.

But now, I've grown. My writing has grown. Several people who actually know something have said it's ready to go. And I find myself again in the happy position of having attracted some interest through query letters and conference meets.

I've had my packets ready to go for about two weeks now.

But still, I sat on them.

I began playing hours of video games and reality television. I was staying up to ridiculous hours, filling myself with mindless junk, until suddenly it hit me: I'm scared.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici,
FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I'm not scared they'll reject me. That will make me sad, but it isn't really that scary.

No, I'm scared they won't reject me. Because if they like it and they take it then that means I'm suddenly supposed to know something. I've gone beyond the student to having arrived somewhere. I would have credentials and they'd expect me to turn around and do it again.

Potential success is terrifying!

But giving up isn't an option, so yesterday I held my breath and hit send. I thought I would throw up. There's still a long road to travel to publication. Don't expect to buy my book on a shelf as a Christmas present this year. But, as Lao-tzu said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

I'm stepping out. I may fall and slide right back to the beginning, but that's okay. I will have seen a little higher up the mountain.

What are you afraid to try? What's stopping you - fear of failure or fear of success?

Friday, October 19, 2012

Background Stress ~ Life Lessons from a Mobile Phone Battery

Mobile phones have become essential to many people's daily lives. Many people have even stopped home phone service because their mobiles have become the only phone they use. Now, smartphones and expansive data packages have increased the amount of attention we pay to our phones.

See how far phones have come in this
display of Ericson cellphone.
Picture from Wikimedia Commons
The first cell phone my family got was actually a car phone. It was semi-permanently mounted in the car. Taking it out required a large battery compartment that you carried around in a bag. Now my phone is semi-permanently attached to my body.

It's caused me to notice something recently.

The battery life has suddenly decreased dramatically.

Phones are so much more than phones now. I play games, check email, text, control my computer remotely, listen to music, use it as an alarm clock, read books, and, oh yeah, make phone calls. All of that means my phone is, or at least feels, essential to me. When it dies, I feel very lost, so this shortened battery life is very concerning.

I set out to discover why my battery was suddenly dying in the middle of the afternoon instead of making it well into the evening. It turned out two applications I had recently loaded were doing some extensive work in the background. Even when I wasn't using them, they were sucking up my phone's resources.

Life is like a phone. When we're young, life seems so much simpler. Most of the time there was only one thing to focus on. Our most difficult decision in a day might be whether Barbie wanted to ride her horse or drive in her car. The older we get, the more hats we put into our repertoire.

I look around now and realize I'm a wife, a mother, a writer, a minister, a daughter... the list goes on and on. I'm not sure I could even make a comprehensive list of all the roles I play sometimes.

Wikimedia Commons
What I've noticed is that sometimes these roles will drain my strength and energy even when I'm not focusing on them. I could be playing a game with my children and part of my mind is thinking about an upcoming church event. Or I'm working on my book and have to stop to write an email to a family member that just keeps niggling at my mind.

A game I play once every other day or so was taking up so much of my phone that at times I couldn't make a phone call or take a picture because the battery had gotten so low. Stress, worry, and a host of other issues related with stretching yourself through life can pull at you until there's nothing left to give whatever is in front of you at that moment.

In 1 Peter 5:7 God commands us to cast all our cares upon Him. God's battery is unlimited. He is uniquely able to carry all of your issues without losing strength, hope, or focus.

What is it for you? Are you thinking about work instead of focusing on a conversation with your spouse? Is waiting for test results (whether your own or a family member's) affecting your ability to worship?

I've changed the settings on that game so that it only runs when I'm actually playing it. What settings do you need to change in your life?

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The God Box ~ Jacob's Journal

New column! Starting this month, I'll be welcoming a regular visitor to my blog every month - my darling husband, Jacob. I love discussing theology with my husband and frequently marvel at his ability to explain things. I hope you enjoy his bits of wisdom as much as I do. 

As a side note, sometimes he likes to use the "big words". If I looked up a word or concept while reading his article, I added a link in case you need to look it up as well. 


Luke 10:27 HCSBLove the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.

Too many Christians today tend to live their lives compartmentalized. Our lives are divided up into little sections or rooms, like a house. There’s the living room, the kitchen, the school room, the playroom, the music room, the TV room, the bathroom, and the somewhere in the house they have a God room.

For some people the God Room is a tiny closet where they have to duck under the coats just to close the door. For others it is a grand an elaborately decorated space, kept pristine and perfect and separated from everything else. 

We go to the God Room on Wednesdays or Sundays or whatever day it is convenient for us to get a god fix. Some even visit the room every morning and then firmly shut the door before going to the next room. We go through life thinking we can carry God around in a little God box.

Our lives have become compartmentalized to the point that church, work, school, God, family, and every other aspect has its own little space and we do not let them mingle.

God did not intend for us to live with our lives divided in such a way, particularly when it comes to a relationship with Him. He wants us to live holistically with Him.

At times divisions are good and even important. There is some merit to having different personas for different circumstances as different situations have varying expectations. For instance, my father-in-law (we'll call him FIL) has two very distinct personas. Business FIL and Family FIL.

I have had the opportunity to work in business with him before and there is a distinct difference in the way he deals with people in both modes. It is quite funny to be hanging out with Family FIL, laughing and joking and playing jokes on each other, only to have the phone ring. When he receives a business call, Business FIL magically appears.

I learned early on that my wife inherited this gene. She has Business Kristi, Family Kristi, and a special adaptation I have named Phone Call Kristi. Author/Blogging Kristi is a strange combination of all of them. It's pretty fun to watch.   

But back to FIL. Business FIL is a great guy. His employees and bosses alike love him. Family FIL is a great father/father-in-law/granddad. But no matter what mode FIL is in, there’s one thing everyone knows about him: He’s a Christian. It is a part of who he is holistically, no matter what personality he puts on the outside.

The thing is, God shouldn't just have a room in your house, even if it is the best room in your house. He should be the foundation of the entire thing.

The Christian faith isn’t a compartment or room in a house to be kept secret or hid away. It is the foundation on which the house should sit. It is the foundation by which you build your entire life, and every compartment must sit on your faith.
 That means you let your faith bleed through every single area of your life. You should be a Christian at work, with friends and enemies, with your spouse, on your Myspace or Twitter, behind closed doors, and every living and breathing second of your life.
You should live for God, breathe for God, sing for God, read about God, pray to God, fear God, strive to be Godly.” (Are You A Compartmentalized Christian? Judge Yourself!, Revelation.co, September 18, 2009)

Compartmentalization of our faith is one of the biggest issues with Christianity in America today. It makes us look like hypocrites... well, I guess it makes us hypocrites. We want our spiritual void filled, but we don’t want to have to live with it all the time.

God calls us to love Him with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength. When you give it all, there’s nothing left to divide.

Do you have difficulty letting God into every room in your life? What do you try to keep separate? 

Friday, October 12, 2012

Moonlight and Magnolia Awesomeness

If you have time, please do me a favor and go to the actual blog to read the article by clicking here. I know several of you read this via email or RSS feed, but I need an idea of how many people are actually reading this blog. Thanks!

This past weekend I went to the Moonlight and Magnolias Conference, put on by the Georgia Romance Writers. It was fabulous. Amazing. Wonderful. In other words, I had a great time.

I wanted to share a few highlights with you while it was still fresh in my mind.

1. I met Julia Quinn

Me with Julia Quinn at the M&M Book Signing

 I cannot tell you awesome this was to me.

Even though I write inspirational fiction and Julia doesn't, her writing style is probably what got me into writing in the first place. The inner kid in me jumped up and down all weekend screaming, "It's Julia Quinn!" Fortunately my outer adult had a little more control.

If I ever "make it" I hope I'm like her. A couple dozen books, New York Times Bestseller, RWA Hall of Fame, and she still is comfortable in a Wizard of Oz T-Shirt. Awesome.

2. I won third place in the Maggies

Receiving my certificate from the amazing Debby Giusti. 

I'll be honest, had I won first this would have ranked over meeting Julia Quinn, but I got third. Which is still pretty fabulous. As my dad pointed out, they even celebrate third place in the Olympics so it's a pretty good place to be. 

To have only been seriously pursuing my writing career for a year, it's an amazing place to be. I'm still a little awed. I mean, my name was on the big screen in front of 300 people, most of whom I didn't know. That's pretty cool. 

The hubby even came up and partied with me. It was a rather interesting look into the world of romance writers for him. He's heard me talk a lot about my inspirational writing buddies, but this was an all genre conference. The theme was "Corsets, Crime, and Craft". I'll let you figure out where it went from there.

Me and the hubs. Isn't he handsome? :) 

3. I learned A LOT. 

I don't have pictures and I can't even begin to remember the names of all the workshop people, but I learned so much this weekend. When it comes right down to it, that's what these conferences are for. I learned about period dress and fabrics (important to know when you write historicals!) and setting tones and layering meaning into my story.

Two workshops had big "A-Ha!" moments for me.

One was Lindi Peterson's workshop on sweet passion. I don't care what genre you write, if you have the opportunity to take her class, you should. It's a working workshop (I started to say "hands on", but given the title of the class, someone might get the wrong idea...) and I walked out of it with an amazing scene for my book. I wasn't the only one saying that either.
Here I am with Lindi at the book signing. I'm short, but not THAT short.
There's a table between us that I had to lean over. 
The other was the craft intensive with Jeffrey Stepakoff. I don't know how often he does workshops outside of the college where he works, but if he's ever in your area, check him out.

4. I actually won something!

I never win anything, so I was very excited when I won a critique from Missy Tippens. She's a friend so I probably could have gotten her to look at my stuff anyway, but now I don't have to feel guilty about it. ;)



A huge shout out to the conference committee that worked so hard to make this year's M&M amazing. Next year's will be a bit smaller, because RWA Nationals is in Atlanta next year, but if you are looking for a small conference to put on your annual radar, you can't do better than the M&M.

Were you at M&M? What did you think? What small conference have you been to that you would recommend?

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Flight of Fancy ~ Peek At My Bookshelf

Break out the scones and get ready to chat because Laurie Alice Eakes stopped by today!

I'm taking a break from sharing my all time favorites to tell you about a new volume of fantastic story telling that just found its home on my bookshelf.

Flight of Fancy by the fabulous Laurie Alice Eakes is a very unique romance. We're all used to that against-the-grain, buck-the-system, out-of-the-norm heroine and we love her deeply. But Cassandra Bainbridge has a different way to avoid the norms of society - she wants to go over them.

If you follow Laurie Alice on twitter or facebook, you've been seeing her fabulous articles on ballooning. While today it's not all that uncommon to see a hot air balloon float by (if you're in the right place at the right time, you could see a whole flock of them) but in the early 19th century, it was quite a novelty.

Flight of Fancy is a beautiful tale of imperfect people and a perfect God. And a hot air balloon that manages to almost be a character in its own right.

The official blurb for Flight of Fancy:

Her head is in the clouds. His feet are planted firmly on the ground. Can love cover the distance?

Cassandra Bainbridge may be a bit of a bluestocking, but when Geoffrey Giles is near, love seems a fine alternative to passion for Greek and the physics of flight. With his dashing good looks and undying devotion to her, the earl of Whittaker sets Cassandra's heart racing with his very presence. It seems his only flaw is his distaste for ballooning, the obsession that consumes so much of her thoughts.

When a terrible accident compels her to end her betrothal, Cassandra heads for the country to recover from both her injuries and her broken heart. With time on her hands and good friends to help her, she pursues her love for ballooning and envisions a future for herself as a daring aeronaut. But when Lord Whittaker slips back into her life, will she have to choose between him and her dream?


And now give a warm welcome to Laurie Alice Eakes!

What is your favorite procrastination activity for those days you know you should be writing, but don't feel like it? 

Reading either research materials or obscure news articles. I’m a news junky.

What authors have inspired your writing style? 

I’d say Patricia Veryan and, to a lesser extent, Georgette Heyer, Jane Aiken Hodge and, don’t laugh at me, Charles Dickens.

You've written a lot of books. Do you still remember the first time you held a copy of your first book? What advice would you give to writers still trying to reach that milestone? 


Oh, yes, I remember. I was living in a high rise outside Washington, D.C., and the concierge called me over to tell me I had a package. He set the box on the counter, I took out my keys and opened it there, then stood hugging the top book in the box—it was a hardcover.

Advice? Just keep writing. Nothing gets you closer faster than perseverance. And be willing to learn and listen to criticism. It isn’t always nice. It isn’t always right, and it is mostly worth sifting for a crumb of truth for improvement.


What had been your favorite "author" moment? 


Seems like each new one is better than the last. The most recent favorite is sitting down in Dallas with two editors and a marketing person from my dream publisher to talk about my upcoming Regency series for them. I was so excited and nervous I completely missed dinner and didn’t even notice—until midnight when I was starving. I felt like, “Wow, this is really happening.”


You can learn more about Laurie Alice and Flight of Fancy on Regency Reflections all this week. You can also answer some trivia questions for a chance to win a wonderful gift basket that includes an Amazon gift card.

Flight of Fancy is available from most major retailers. Special thanks to Laurie Alice and Revell for my copy of the book.

Friday, October 5, 2012

God Provides ~ Life Lessons from a Barbie Doll

We're filling shoeboxes at my house this week. If you haven't heard of Operation Christmas Child, it is a ministry of Samaritan's Purse. They collect shoeboxes filled with toys, hygiene items, school supplies, and other goodies and distribute them to children in poor countries. Children that have likely never seen a Christmas present before.

Operation Christmas Child As a lover of everything Christmas, I adore this ministry. I love that I can be a part of bringing a piece of Christmas to a child that otherwise would not see any of it. And with each shoebox, they distribute the Gospel message, bringing hope that lasts far longer than the boxes contents.

This year, we are having each of our kids fill a shoebox for a child their own age. My oldest, Bean, is so excited about it that she's about to bust at the seams.

Earlier this week we went shopping. We hit the discount store and the dollar store, snagging some great stuff to put in our boxes. Bean wanted to put a Barbie in her box. I told her we would get one at the dollar store, since the recipient wasn't likely to know or care about the brand of the doll.

I didn't know that the dollar store doesn't carry Barbie-like dolls anymore.

When we left the dollar store it was too late to go back to the discount store. We told Bean we'd pick the doll up later in the week.

She started to cry.

Now it's always hard to listen to your child cry, but it's especially hard when she's crying because she wants to do something for someone else and doesn't think she's going to get to. (As a side note, she has also cried when we forget to bring our food bank donation to the church. I love this girl's heart.) Between sobs, she choked out phrases like, "But I want to get it for her." and "I know that little girl would love the doll!"

As we drove home, I remembered something. Several months ago I received a coupon in the mail for Kohl's. I used it to buy a Barbie doll to stick in the gift closet for Bean's next birthday party invite. There was a doll - a nicer one than Bean wanted to buy - waiting at home.

My husband was talking to my daughter, telling her that God would make sure the little girl got everything she was supposed to get. Finally, my daughter calmed down and remembered the faithfulness of the God she loved. She said that God could do anything. He could even make her a Barbie.

At home I went to hunt down the Barbie doll and Bean hit her knees by her bed, praying that God would make sure that the little girl got the doll she was supposed to have and could He please bring it soon because Bean was really worried about it.

I'll never forget the look on her face when I laid the doll in front of her on the bed.

It's a ballerina with brown hair. Just like my daughter. It's like she's sending herself in the box to that little girl on the other side of the world.

As I sit here, recalling the evening, I am struck again at how God works. He had a plan for that doll. What I thought was just an act of frugality and forethought, He was going to use to teach my daughter, and me, about His faithfulness and love.

Our church is collecting the shoeboxes this weekend. When I see it packed away, I know a piece of my heart will go with it. And I'm okay with that. There's a little girl somewhere in the world that could use that extra dose of love so that she can learn about the God that never fails to provide what His children need most.

Even when it's a Barbie doll.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Clearing Out and Cleaning Up

My house is more upside down than normal right now, but it's gong to be worth it.

In one week I'll cart a van full of stuff of to a consignment sale. It's a win-win! I clear some stuff out of my house AND get paid for it!

One thing I've noticed, for me at least, is that when I'm clearing things out or organizing, things get a lot messier before they get cleaner. Right now my living room looks like it could be a consignment store in its own right.

Clothes are thrown over all the furniture, unused toys are stacked by the fireplace, and supplies and other accouterments cover most every other available surface.

When it's all said and done though, it will be nice to have all of this stuff out of my house. Clutter makes it hard to clean, hard to find things, and hard to store other things that we actually use and want to keep. So while I'm tired of the mess, I'm excited about the outcome.

Have you ever cleaned out for a yard sale or just a big donation run? What was the best part?

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Preparing to Flood Your Mind

I have a lot of friends that spent the past weekend at the American Christian Fiction Writers annual conference. While part of me is more than a little jealous of that, I am excited that I will be attending a smaller, more local conference in a couple of weeks.

For writers, conferences are like continuing education classes or special training sessions in other careers.

If you've never been to conference, let me explain what it is. Three days of experienced writers pouring knowledge into your brain with a firehose. In the midst of that you pull yourself together to meet with editors and agents and try to sell them your book in five minutes.

Craziness.

At the same time it's absolutely fabulous.

Because there are also experienced writers sitting in the seats next to you in the workshop. Such a fabulous reminder that we never perfect the craft. There is always something to improve upon.

But how do you prepare yourself to take in all of that information?

1. Sleep

I plan on getting to bed at reasonable times over the next two weeks. That way I should be well rested in time for the conference.

2. Exercise

It may seem silly to say that you need stamina to sit in a conference room all day, but if you're going to sit there and pay attention, you need some energy.

3. Write

I have some large writing goals between now and then. That way my mind is in a writing groove when I go to class. I know what my problems are, I know my stories, examples, and can see where their advice will fit.

Do you have any other thoughts on how to prepare for conference? Maybe some of you that just came back can share some knowledge.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

What Do You Do Yourself?

I don't know if hubby and I are lacking time, talent, or inspiration, but my extended family seems to be much more inclined to complete Do-It-Yourself projects.

Gotta trim a few strings and
add some clothespins, but
it's looking pretty good! 
Between seeing all the fabulous things that they tackle, the constant influence of gorgeous Pinterest projects, and a general desire to make/have cool things done around my house, one would think I'd be all over the DIY scene. I mean, I grew up doing DIY (see the part about my extended family...)

However, the fact of the matter is that we are just now finishing our first DIY project in years. We turned an old chest of drawers into a dress-up clothes closet for my girls. It's in the last stages. All I have to do is add a few clothes pins and load it up.

I love the feeling of knowing I took something we had and gave it a new life AND filled a great need in our home. Dress up clothes tend to swallow the playroom in about 2.3 seconds. Now they will have a neat little home instead of a box in the corner.

Hopefully, actually finishing this small project will spur me on to other projects. There are certainly a few other things I'd like to see done around my house.

Are you a do-it-yourselfer? I'd be curious to know the biggest project you've ever tackled on your own. Was is a good idea? Do people who excel at doing their own projects motivate you or irritate you?

Friday, September 14, 2012

Moving On ~ Life Lessons from a Bandaid

My middle child has sensitive skin. She also has a tendency to scratch and pick at her scabs. Disgusting, I know, but she is three so I try to cut her some slack.

She had one boo-boo on her forehead that she wouldn't leave alone, so I put a little square Band-aid over it. (Yes, it was an actual brand name Band-aid. :) ) Because I didn't want her to keep re-opening the wound, I left the Band-aid on for a couple of days.

When it did come off, the skin underneath the sticky part was all broken out. We had left the bandage on far longer than it really needed to be there.

Life is like that a lot.

We take certain measures because circumstances at the time require it. These things are intended to be temporary measures to solve a temporary problem. Unfortunately they become permanent fixtures in our life and those temporary measures eat away at our mental, emotional, and sometimes even physical health.

Some things, like a family having to move into their parents' basement, are harder to accept long term. Small, and sometimes big, things keep the fact that the situation is far from ideal at the forefront of our minds. At the same time you get into a routine and eventually things don't seem so bad. Instead of looking for an apartment as soon as its feasible, the family may decide to delay a few more months so they can save some extra money, or put a down payment on a house.

Other things, especially emotional bandages, also tend to stick around far longer than they should. Perhaps you are feeling wounded and raw from a fight with a friend. Sunday morning comes along and you feel like you both just need some time to cool off before you talk it out, so you skip church.

Wednesday comes along and you figure that a week's sabbatical will really help your equilibrium.

There are times and situations where a respite, a cooling off period, could be needed. But it is all too easy to let this temporary fix become an ingrained habit. The next Sunday you might be too embarrassed to go to church. Everyone will ask where you were all week and then you might have to explain the fight. So you skip again. In another week everyone will forget about it.

The next thing you know you haven't been to church in five months.

Habits are hard to break, especially when they were created out of necessity.

I could have taken my daughter's bandage off the next day, knowing the bleeding had stopped and the wound was nearly healed. Instead I left it on because it seemed easier than teaching her not to pick at it. Now I'm having to medicate the entire area as the skin heals.

Are there things in your life that were supposed to be temporary but became permanent fixtures? Do you need to work on getting they out?

Or maybe you've already ripped off your bandages. Did you have some mess to clean up from your fix? I'd love to hear about it in the comments below.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Fancy Pants ~ A Peek at My Bookshelf

While I enjoy the western setting for books, rarely do these stories become my all time favorites. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule and today I'm talking about one of those.


I picked up Fancy Pants first because of the cover. If ever there was an example of cover art making a sale, this is it. As you can see, the image of a girl in a tub looking extremely guilty is not common cover art for an inspirational novel. It's not even common art for a secular novel to be honest.

But it is intriguing. Even moreso when you realize it's actually a scene out of the book.

Have I grabbed your attention yet?

Fancy Pants starts out as a classic story of hidden/mistaken identity. To flee her circumstances, Sydney dresses up like a man because, well, it's 1890 and men can still do a whole lot more than women. Plus she's hiding with her woman-hating uncle.

Beyond that, the story doesn't fall into any traditional or typical lines. Watching Sydney come into her own and learn her own strengths is entertaining and encouraging at the same time.

There's just enough underdog in her to make you cheer for her, enough sass to make you laugh, and enough hardship to make you yell at the other characters. I always consider it a good book if I feel like yelling at the characters.

Fancy Pants is written by Cathy Marie Hake and is available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Christian Book Distributors as well as many local bookstores.

Official blurb for Fancy Pants:

When Big Tim Creighton spies the mincing fop headed toward Forsaken Ranch, he is appalled. Thankful his boss isn't around to witness the arrival of his kin, Tim decides he'll turn "Fancy Pants" Hathwell into a man worthy of respect.

Lady Sydney Hathwell never intended to don men's attire, but when her uncle mistakenly assumed she was a male, the answer to her problems seemed clear. Her disguise as "Syd" was meant to be temporary...but the arranged marriage she's fleeing, her uncle's attitude toward the fairer sex - and her own pride - compel her to continue the guise far longer than she had planned.

When her deception is exposed, will she be forced to abandon her hopes for family... and true love?

Friday, September 7, 2012

If You Can't Say Something Nice... ~ Life Lessons from Buying Tap Shoes

My daughter is in dance class this year. Both of them are actually.

In my efforts to be prepared and efficient, I made sure that both of them had all the shoes and other paraphernalia they needed for class about a week before it was scheduled to start.

On the day of their first class I discovered that my younger daughter was missing a tap shoe. She went to her first tap class in ballet slippers. I turned the house upside down and sideways looking for the shoe. Nowhere.   Our best guess? My son liked it and either hid it somewhere or threw it away.

She went to her second tap class in ballet shoes.

After another week of searching, I gave in and said we'd replace them, but I'd try the used bin and the dance studio first. They didn't have any small enough.

She went to her third tap class in ballet shoes.

So suffice it to say, I simply had to go get her some tap shoes before her fourth class which was this week. There are a few important things to know about the purchasing of the tap shoes.

The shoes. 
1. They had to be tan. 

In case you are a normal person and don't have a daughter in dance class, let me explain the import of this statement. It means you have to go to a dancewear specialty store because places like Wal-Mart, Academy Sporting Goods, and Payless sell black tap shoes.

2. Her foot is tiny.

Which means that not every dancewear store is going to have shoes small enough.

3. There aren't many dancewear stores around me.

In fact, there's really only one. I usually drive to one near my parents' house about 45 minutes away. There's a super nice lady there, she gives me a discount, and my mom swings by to help watch my other children while the one getting shoes is fitted. I didn't have time to do that this week.

4. Dance shoes are a bit finicky in how they fit.

So I couldn't just order a pair off the internet. Which is painful. Because I order almost everything aside from food over the internet. Sometimes I even get food.

5. The dancewear stores that are around me have funky hours.

Even my normal one by my parents. It doesn't open until 2:30 which makes sense as most of her customers have, you know, school. That doesn't make it any less frustrating.

So my mission, which absolutely had to be accomplished, had a lot of difficulties.

Monday was labor day. My husband had it off so I thought we'd go get tap shoes Monday.

The store near me is closed on Monday. It's actually always closed on Monday, not just labor day. But on Tuesday (which, by the way, is dance class day) she's open from twelve to six.

So I think, not a problem. My two youngest usually go down for a nap at noon, but we can delay long enough to run down the street and get tap shoes. Shouldn't be a problem.

There was a problem.

Image: www.morguefile.com
I pull in the parking lot and see a sign on the door that the credit card machine is down so they can only take cash and check right now. Don't have my checkbook or enough cash on me, so I run down the street to the Publix ATM (which charges a fee, but it was ten minutes closer than my nearest bank branch).

I get cash, come back, it's 12:30. Get the kids out of the car, go up to the door. And it's locked. No movement inside. Nobody's there. The store isn't open.

Not getting tap shoes is not an option.

So we pile back in the car, my son is VERY not happy about this, and I'm so frustrated I'm about to cry.

And this is where I make the key mistake in this whole nasty business. I called the store's phone number, just to see if she was in the back and had forgotten to unlock the door or something like that. No answer. In my frustration I leave a polite but not anywhere near nice message about how she should be open when she says she'll be open and I guess she won't be getting my business.

As soon as I hang up I think, "This is going to come back and bite me."

We get in the car and I head toward a big sporting goods store about twenty minutes away. It's my next best shot. I have my mom call around while I'm in route in case there's somewhere else I can go. Well, the sporting goods store only has black shoes and the other dance stores don't open until after school which means I don't have time to get to them and get back in time for dance class.

As I turn around to drive home, I realize I'm going to have to check the first store again and see if it's open. Because I pass it on my way home. And not getting tap shoes isn't an option. By this point my daughter is in the back crying because she thinks she's going to tap class in her ballet shoes again. Not good.

image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Sure enough she's open now.

We go in. It takes me five minutes to get up the courage to confess that I'm the meanie who left the nasty message and I'm really sorry.

She hasn't checked her messages yet. Which, in a way, is a good thing, because when she hears it she'll know I apologized.

We got our shoes.

She gave me a discount because of the earlier trouble.

I felt like dirt.

Why do I tell you this story? Because it just goes to show that the old adage is right. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. You never know when it will come back to bite you.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Show and Tell Time!

If you read Friday's post, you saw that I had an epiphany about stress in my life and how I was clinging to it as both an excuse and a motivator.

No more, my friends! This weekend, with the help of my fabulous hubby, we have been tackling projects around the house to relieve stress and increase organization and potential productivity.

Want proof? Just look below. It's time for some show and tell, class.

Exhibit A: The Brown Chair You Can Sit In

Why is this impressive? Because we haven't been able to sit it in since the middle of July. It's where I've been piling the clean laundry and we've been digging through it. Now? You can sit in it and kick your feet up. Which is good. Because it's one of the most comfortable chairs in the house.

Empty Brown Chair

Exhibit B: My New Dress

Yes, amongst the myriad of household makeoverness I found time to go shopping. Behold, the dress I shall be wearing to the banquet at the Moonlight and Magnolias conference where the winners of the Maggies will be announced. Even if I don't win, I'll be up on stage. I would like to look nice. 

Reason this is impressive? Banquet is, get ready for it, an entire month away. Take that procrastination!
   
Draped waistline of purple dress

Exhibit C: The Top of My Dryer

Please note the absence of various laundry type clutter such as the detergent and dryer sheets. Those are now at home in a new laundry cart between the washer and the dryer. Also absent? The mounds of lint kangaroos (they're bigger than bunnies but still hop) and strange sticky unknown substances that make you wonder if the clothes come out of the laundry dirtier than they went in. 

The best part? I can now return to my habit of taking the clothes from the dryer and folding them on top of the dryer for immediate put away. 

Cleared and cleaned top of a white dryer

Exhibit D:The Almost Empty Cabinet

This one was really all my hubby, but I'm still counting it because it's a biggie. Notice the vast emptiness on both of these shelves. The last vestiges of baby food (stockpile baby cereal) have left the house. What was out of date hit the trash can. Everything else went into the car to go to the food pantry Wednesday. Win-win.  Now there's room to organize the rest of the cabinets.    

Half empty cabinet

Exhibit E: The Carpet In My Writing Area

Probably the most impressive picture in this collection. This is the carpet in my writing area. It's pretty much all of it. My writing area is rather small. Which is probably why the area was full of papers, reference books, notebooks, a blanket, piles of DVDs, and various office supplies. Like Post-its. Yeah. 

Now they are all neatly stored in an end table cabinet directly behind me. (It's really difficult to explain the layout of our living room. It just works. Trust me.)

I vacuumed this area for the first time in about three months. Oh yeah. 

Small expanse of white carpet

There were numerous other accomplishments this weekend, but many of those are in my children's rooms. And they're asleep. So I can't get pictures because I didn't do this blog until the... last... minute...

Oh well. I suppose there's still room for improvement on the anti-procrastination train. 

How about you? Did you accomplish anything fabulous this weekend? 

Thursday, August 30, 2012

The Power of Stress ~ Life Lessons from Procrastination

Have you ever had one of those moments where someone makes a casual remark and it hits in just the right spot? Suddenly their off-the-cuff sentence has opened up a world of understanding about yourself.

This happened to me the other day.

I've been busting tail for the last two weeks to finish a project for a friend of mine. I've had it for a year. I didn't touch it until two weeks ago. Oops.

As I was running around the house crying and freaking out, because over the course of a year I'd lost an essential piece of the project, I wondered how my life ended up in this situation so often.

I always seem to be one step from the edge of the crumbling cliff. Miraculously everything meets deadline, but I'm nearly dead by the time it gets here.

photo from Wiki Commons
So I complained to my husband. That's what he's for, right? (Just kidding, honey!) He calmly continues what he's doing (which, coincidentally, is helping me look for the missing item) and says, "I think you just like stress."

My gut reaction was, "I do not! Who in the world wants stress?"

But then I started thinking about it. The honest answer was, "I do."

I think it's the sense of urgency, the dare of the deadline, and my desire to be as lazy as possible that make stress such an integral part of my getting anything done.

And I don't like that about myself. I don't think God cares for it either. Crying jags, loss of sleep, and shredded nerves don't add up to life more abundant.

Is stress a necessary factor in accomplishing your goals? So many authors write to the deadline - letting that be the thing that finally turns on their juice, whether it's creative or desperate. It's the essential requirement for sitting your tail in the chair and getting it done.

If that's you, I invite you to join me. The post is shorter than normal today because I'm getting up and doing something. Today I shall do something well before it's deadline is on the horizon. I am laying the groundwork for productivity to come easier later.

Today I am changing my life. Because I don't want to crave stress.

Are you joining me? Put your anti-procrastination goal in the comments below. You can do this. And so can I.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Try One of My Family's Favorite Recipes

I'm over on Regency Reflections today talking about how a last minute fix can become a family tradition. Try one of our favorite recipes!


Slice of shepherd's pie and a tomato
Ask people to list traditional English meals, and you’re very likely to get Shepherd’s Pie in the list right next to Fish and Chips, Bangers and Mash, and Yorkshire pudding.
Slice of Cottage Pie. Note the meat and vegetables on the bottom layer and the potatoes on the top.
Shepherd’s Pie is really a particular version of a Cottage Pie. Technically, a Shepherd’s Pie should contain lamb or mutton while a Cottage Pie can contain the meat from pretty much any animal, though it usually contains beef.
Simply put, Cottage Pies are a mix of meat and vegetables topped with a heap of mashed potatoes....



Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Why Self-Published Books Get Bad Reputations

If you've been in the writing world much at all, you have likely stumbled across at least one "discussion" involving self-publishing versus traditional publishing. If you've never followed writers and agent blogs or email loops, you may not realize these two camps even exist.

As a writer, I've noticed a disturbing increase in the number of arguments that arise around this topic.


The Camps

Traditional publishing is what most people think of when they think of putting a book out there. Someone buys the book from the author, edits it, makes some cover art, and prints it for distribution in the bookstore. It's a really long process and the author is at the mercy of the acquiring editors, hoping to write a book someone wants to sell.

Self-publishing is just what it sounds like. Someone writes a book and does all the necessary work before publishing it. Sometimes these books are published in E-Book only, sometimes they run a small print to sell at speaking engagements and through a website. Rarely do they find their way into bookstores.

The Fight

Not all authors fight about this. Some happily rub shoulders with each other and celebrate every book, no matter the format.

But when things get ugly, here's what they say:

The self-pubbeds call the traditionalists lazy for not grabbing hold of their own careers and destinies. They say it's ridiculous to let someone else get such a chunk out of each book you sell. The publishing house is the equivalent of "the man" and he's out to get you and force your art into a certain mold. Besides, what's the publishing house doing for most authors these days? We have to do our own marketing anyway, so why not take care of everything else, too?

On the flip side, arguing traditionalists think self-pubbeds are impatient and sloppy, unwilling to perfect their work before throwing it out there. They also see that many self-pubbeds don't have a significant reach with their books. The audience is smaller, and the work load is higher.

Both methods have good points and bad points, and no side is ever really going to win. But I don't think the crux of the problem is really disagreeing with how someone chooses to publish.

The problem is the reputation of self-published authors. As a whole, their reputation is bad. Since I know plenty of really good self-published authors, I wondered about that.

The Problem

The problem is, if you self-publish right, I don't know you self-published. Your book looks professional, it's well written and well edited. Time and thought has gone into the plot and characters. In short, if the book is done right it looks like every other book put out by a traditional publisher.

But anyone can self-publish. And a lot of people do it badly.

EReaders give easy access to
self-published books. 
I was reading a book the other day with a great premise, an intriguing idea, and potentially lovable characters. I didn't make it past page three.

The writing was full of typos, the point of view was inconsistent (and I mean in a first person to third person kind of way), and the heroine's name changed on page four. I couldn't keep reading.

Sure enough, there was no publisher listed in the book's credentials. Someone had thrown their idea into a computer file, said "Wow! I wrote a book!", and noticed they could toss it out into cyberspace with very little money or effort.

So they did.

And the problem is that I looked and saw it was self-published. Unless I absolutely love a book, I don't make a habit of looking up its publisher. Closer inspection of my reading list revealed several self-published books I had enjoyed, but I wouldn't have looked if I hadn't been writing this article.

The Solution

Unfortunately, there isn't one.

Aside from a good self-pubbed author walking around telling everyone they published their own books, there's no way to make sure people know you're managing every aspect of your own career.

A group's reputation sinks to the lowest level represented. When there's no gatekeeper, the low can be pretty low.

There's nothing to do to change the general reputation, but we can stop the fighting by realizing the truth about the source of self-publishing's reputation.

All pictures from WikiCommons. 

Friday, August 24, 2012

Waiting For The Best ~ Life Lessons from A Fast Food Drive-Thru

Confession time! I know, I know that happens a lot around here.

Photo by Wiki Commons
My family eats too much fast food. We eat it at least twice a week, frequently three, and occasionally more. Part of it is because we have such a long drive to church (It takes at least 45 minutes but we always have to allow an hour.)

On Wednesdays, we not only eat fast food, we eat it in the car. (Remember.... 45 minute drive...) All this means I've gotten very familiar with the fast food drive thru line. And I've noticed something.

They're slow with the straws.

Because of the way things are set up in drive thru lines, you get your drink almost immediately. Sometimes they hand them to you before you hand them your payment, which can be really awkward when neither of you has a hand free to actually receive what the other is trying to pass you.

So your drink is in your hand (or your cup holder) and it's all cold and yummy and you're thirsty because you spent the past hour running around putting kids on shoes (or shoes on kids, depending on your viewpoint) and gathering Bibles and other church goodies and such. And there in front of you is the wonderful, if unhealthy, cure for your thirst.

But they didn't give you a straw.

I don't really follow the football much, but
have to take this moment to cheer on my
alma mater. Go jackets! Sting 'em!
You see they've started putting the straws in the food bags. I guess this is so they don't forget them. But it means they hand you your drink and don't give you a straw. So the cup sits there, mocking you. The cup starts sweating because there's cold deliciousness inside but you don't have a straw.

Now I understand that a straw is not a requirement for drinking a drink. I could take the lid off and sip it that way. But there are many problems with this:

1. I'm clumsy. I've dropped a cup in the car more times than I care to admit and been very thankful for that little piece of plastic keeping most of the liquid where it belongs - in my cup.

2. I'm going to have to replace the lid so I can put the straw in to make it drinkable as I drive down the road. Because I can't be tipping my head back with a cup in front of my face as I truck down the interstate. So why take it off because...

3. I always seem to break the lids when I remove them. It's a special talent. I thought about trying out for America's Got Talent, but I couldn't see me making a whole Las Vegas show out of that skill.

What this all means is that, in my case at least, it's better to just let the cup sit and wait for the straw. Sometimes I'll get lucky and they hand me the straw with the cup, but that is becoming more and more rare. Most of the time I have to wait for the better way to drink my drink.

Life is like that.

I love this picture. I know nothing about it
but it looks like these two women are
waiting on something important. One is
content to sit and wait, possibly dreaming
about whatever is coming. The other is looking
to get out or hide. It's pretty cool.
Photo from WikiCommons
Sometimes we know what we want. We can see it. We're so close we can almost taste it.

But we don't have the necessary means to get there yet. There's a quicker option but we run the potential of spills and mess and damage to a part we might need later on.

I can really relate this to book publishing. Right now, there is a lot of discussion about traditional vs. self publishing. A variety of hybrid models have started coming out too.

Let's say you have a book (I do) and it's great (I like to think so.) and it sits on your computer, asking you what you intend to do with it. Most authors want their book published. It's sort of the natural culmination of the book writing process.

You can get to it immediately by publishing it yourself, and for some people this works amazingly well. For others, drink gets spilled everywhere until there isn't a need for a straw because there's nothing left in the cup.

Your other option is to wait for traditional publishing. It's a little slower, but you have less risk once you get it. IF you self-publish the editing, cover art, everything is on your shoulders. There's no advance, no safety net, no nothing.

I'm not trying to get a self vs. traditional war started here. (Believe me they can be ugly.)

What I'm saying is that sometimes in life, the thing that's better requires a little more wait. There are times when the shortcut just isn't worth the risk.

Have you ever experienced that? Have you ever taken a shortcut and ended up with a giant mess on your hands?

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Milestones ~ My Journey So Far

Sometimes milestones are big and obvious and you know they're coming. Like birthdays, anniversaries (whether marital or work related), and Christmas. They're on the calendar, other people are talking about them and they are easy to spot and catalog.

Other milestones catch you by surprise. Something significant happens and it makes you turn around and realize just how far you've come.

That happened to me this week.

Two years ago, I suffered from insomnia while I was pregnant with my third child. This isn't a good thing when you have two other small children to care for. It makes you really tired.

Playing computer games got old and I had too much restlessness to sit and read a book. TV was too loud and could wake up someone else in the house. So I started writing. This isn't new. I've started books before on numerous occasions. I came across a notebook with the beginning of a book I wrote in 3rd grade. It has a lot of company.

This time, it was different. This time I finished it and I looked at it and realized I actually liked it. It was good (or so I thought at the time). I showed it to my husband and a good friend of mine.

About a year ago they convinced me to get serious about it. To really go for it and figure out what it took to get it published. I looked into writing groups because it seemed like that would be a good source of help and encouragement. (It totally is, by the way. If you are seriously wanting to write, I highly suggest joining one or two.)


The first GRW (Georgia Romance Writers) meeting I went to, they were announcing the finalists for that years Maggies - a writing award with categories for published and unpublished writers.  Soon after this I got serious about my writing, started a blog, took some online classes, and attended GRW's annual conference.

GRW announced this year's Maggie finalists at Saturday's meeting.

I am one.

It made me realize just how far I've come in a year. And that is a good feeling.

What moments have made you look back and realize just how far you've come?

Friday, August 17, 2012

The Communal Crayon - Life Lessons from School Supplies

My oldest started school last week.

It's hard to say who was more excited about school starting - her or me. One of the reasons I've been anticipating my kids starting school is for the excuse to go Back To School Shopping.

Seriously. I'm addicted to office supplies. I love them. Pens, pencils, rulers, notebooks, paper clips, index cards, all of those wonderful things in the stationary aisle at Wal-Mart are a total draw for me. I've mentioned this before when I talked about my total obsession with sticky notes.

So when my oldest was headed to kindergarten I was clapping with glee in anticipation of getting my hands on her school supply list.

Until I actually got it.

Maybe it's because of this weird thing I have with new office products, but I always loved the trip to buy school supplies. My mom probably didn't because I distinctly remember one year having to go to four different stores before we found the five subject spiral notebook with pockets on the dividers that my brother was supposed to have for school.

We would gather all of our things, meticulously crossing off colored pencils, notebooks, crayons, pencil box, and clipboard. I remember the clipboard. (It was to keep our loose leaf paper contained, in case you were wondering.)

Once we got home, we would pull out the paint pen and label everything. My mom turned the clipboard into a work of art with my name in the middle of a big vine of flowers. It was awesome. I think I still have it in a box in the attic.

All of those beautiful new school supplies with my name on them. Every year I vowed to treat them well and keep them looking new. It would last for a while, and when the notebook was squished on the corners or the paint chipped off the clipboard or the pencils started to look a bit run down and chewed on, well, I had no one to blame but myself.

My daughter doesn't have that option.

This year I sent a bag full of crayons and gluesticks to the school for her whole class to use in the classroom. Every supply on the list is communal property in her classroom.

I confess to struggling with this.

The rant to my own mother went on for a while. "What if some other kid in there breaks crayons? Is my daughter going to have to use his mistreated crayons?"

Notice how it's obviously not going to be my kid mistreating the crayons despite the state of our own crayon box at home.

I was greatly concerned that nothing I sent to school was going to be hers. And now I wonder why.

There are some valid reasons such as wanting to teach her to take care of her things and learn that responsibility, and not wanting to have to buy four boxes of crayons when she herself might only need two through the whole year if they were simply hers.

But she has things to take care of at home, so there's another way to learn that lesson. And having to utilize a communal bucket of crayons will teach her to share and work with others, so that's a good thing, right? Plus I don't have to buy a school supply box and argue over the color of paint to use on her name.

So I have to wonder at this drive to have things be just hers. As I look around my life, I see other areas of possessive behavior.

I won't share my sticky notes with my kids. I make them use the free ones from a college job fair that were shoved in the back of the drawer.

My problems and issues are just that - mine, and my wrath may fall down on you if you try to take them away from me. They might make me miserable, but they're still mine.

And what I'm coming to realize is that it's not always a good thing to have your name painted across every aspect of your life. I'm not saying everyone should go live in a commune where everything from the toilet paper to the minivan is up for free use, but my grip could be a little looser.

In the end, it's not really mine anyway. It's all on loan from God and He should be able to use it however He wants to.

So I'm starting to realize that I don't have to control everything. That it's okay for someone else to run with certain things, to have a little bit of control. Maybe by sharing the responsibilities and the struggles, I'll find myself working better within the team, whether the team is my family, my church, or life in general.

And if someone else gets to use the new box of crayons before I do? Well, I'm going to have to learn to be okay with that, too. Sometimes someone else gets the reward.

How are school supplies done at your kid's school? Do you struggle with wanting your name painted over every aspect of your life?

All photos from WikiMedia Commons.