The Fear of Success

"The more I learn, the less I know." 

I'm not sure who said that. I'd love to attribute it correctly, but the illustrious internet gave me three possible options and about twenty variations, so, sadly, I don't know who actually said it first.

Regardless of it's origins, it's message remains true. At least in writing. I've mentioned before the stunning distance my writing has come in the past year. The thing is, the more I learn what to change in my writing, the more intimidated I get.

Because if I've learned nothing else, it's this: It's hard to write well.

Image courtesy of Phaistoon, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

And the thing is, you don't really "get there". There's always classes, trends, workshops, inspirations, and insights that tweak the writing of even the most prolific of authors. While many successful writers have eschewed the classes and critique partners, you still see progress in their writing from the first book to their most recent.

All of this means it's really intimidating to knock of the door of the publishing world and say, "Hello, I'm ready."

When I first decided to pursue writing for real, my first stop was a GRW conference. My story idea garnered some attention and I gleefully sent off my submissions, excited that I could be the one in a million that gets to succeed right away.

Oh, the bliss of ignorance. I know cringe and crawl under a table when I think of the sample pages I sent to some editors last year.

But now, I've grown. My writing has grown. Several people who actually know something have said it's ready to go. And I find myself again in the happy position of having attracted some interest through query letters and conference meets.

I've had my packets ready to go for about two weeks now.

But still, I sat on them.

I began playing hours of video games and reality television. I was staying up to ridiculous hours, filling myself with mindless junk, until suddenly it hit me: I'm scared.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I'm not scared they'll reject me. That will make me sad, but it isn't really that scary.

No, I'm scared they won't reject me. Because if they like it and they take it then that means I'm suddenly supposed to know something. I've gone beyond the student to having arrived somewhere. I would have credentials and they'd expect me to turn around and do it again.

Potential success is terrifying!

But giving up isn't an option, so yesterday I held my breath and hit send. I thought I would throw up. There's still a long road to travel to publication. Don't expect to buy my book on a shelf as a Christmas present this year. But, as Lao-tzu said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

I'm stepping out. I may fall and slide right back to the beginning, but that's okay. I will have seen a little higher up the mountain.

What are you afraid to try? What's stopping you - fear of failure or fear of success?

Moonlight and Magnolia Awesomeness

If you have time, please do me a favor and go to the actual blog to read the article by clicking here. I know several of you read this via email or RSS feed, but I need an idea of how many people are actually reading this blog. Thanks!

This past weekend I went to the Moonlight and Magnolias Conference, put on by the Georgia Romance Writers. It was fabulous. Amazing. Wonderful. In other words, I had a great time.

I wanted to share a few highlights with you while it was still fresh in my mind.

1. I met Julia Quinn. 

 I cannot tell you awesome this was to me.

Even though I write inspirational fiction and Julia doesn't, her writing style is probably what got me into writing in the first place. The inner kid in me jumped up and down all weekend screaming, "It's Julia Quinn!" Fortunately my outer adult had a little more control.

If I ever "make it" I hope I'm like her. A couple dozen books, New York Times Bestseller, RWA Hall of Fame, and she still is comfortable in a Wizard of Oz T-Shirt. Awesome.

2. I won third place in the Maggies. 

Receiving my certificate from the amazing Debby Giusti.

I'll be honest, had I won first this would have ranked over meeting Julia Quinn, but I got third. Which is still pretty fabulous. As my dad pointed out, they even celebrate third place in the Olympics so it's a pretty good place to be. 

To have only been seriously pursuing my writing career for a year, it's an amazing place to be. I'm still a little awed. I mean, my name was on the big screen in front of 300 people, most of whom I didn't know. That's pretty cool. 

The hubby even came up and partied with me. It was a rather interesting look into the world of romance writers for him. He's heard me talk a lot about my inspirational writing buddies, but this was an all genre conference. The theme was "Corsets, Crime, and Craft". I'll let you figure out where it went from there.

Me and the hubs. Isn't he handsome? :)

3. I learned A LOT. 

I don't have pictures and I can't even begin to remember the names of all the workshop people, but I learned so much this weekend. When it comes right down to it, that's what these conferences are for. I learned about period dress and fabrics (important to know when you write historicals!) and setting tones and layering meaning into my story.

Two workshops had big "A-Ha!" moments for me.

One was Lindi Peterson's workshop on sweet passion. I don't care what genre you write, if you have the opportunity to take her class, you should. It's a working workshop (I started to say "hands on", but given the title of the class, someone might get the wrong idea...) and I walked out of it with an amazing scene for my book. I wasn't the only one saying that either.

Here I am with Lindi at the book signing. I'm short, but not THAT short. There's a table between us that I had to lean over.

The other was the craft intensive with Jeffrey Stepakoff. I don't know how often he does workshops outside of the college where he works, but if he's ever in your area, check him out.

4. I actually won something!

I never win anything, so I was very excited when I won a critique from Missy Tippens. She's a friend so I probably could have gotten her to look at my stuff anyway, but now I don't have to feel guilty about it. ;)

A huge shout out to the conference committee that worked so hard to make this year's M&M amazing. Next year's will be a bit smaller, because RWA Nationals is in Atlanta next year, but if you are looking for a small conference to put on your annual radar, you can't do better than the M&M.

Were you at M&M? What did you think? What small conference have you been to that you would recommend?

Flight of Fancy ~ Peek At My Bookshelf

Break out the scones and get ready to chat because Laurie Alice Eakes stopped by today!

I'm taking a break from sharing my all time favorites to tell you about a new volume of fantastic story telling that just found its home on my bookshelf.

Flight of Fancy by the fabulous Laurie Alice Eakes is a very unique romance. We're all used to that against-the-grain, buck-the-system, out-of-the-norm heroine and we love her deeply. But Cassandra Bainbridge has a different way to avoid the norms of society - she wants to go over them.

If you follow Laurie Alice on twitter or facebook, you've been seeing her fabulous articles on ballooning. While today it's not all that uncommon to see a hot air balloon float by (if you're in the right place at the right time, you could see a whole flock of them) but in the early 19th century, it was quite a novelty.

Flight of Fancy is a beautiful tale of imperfect people and a perfect God. And a hot air balloon that manages to almost be a character in its own right.

The official blurb for Flight of Fancy:

Her head is in the clouds. His feet are planted firmly on the ground. Can love cover the distance?

Cassandra Bainbridge may be a bit of a bluestocking, but when Geoffrey Giles is near, love seems a fine alternative to passion for Greek and the physics of flight. With his dashing good looks and undying devotion to her, the earl of Whittaker sets Cassandra's heart racing with his very presence. It seems his only flaw is his distaste for ballooning, the obsession that consumes so much of her thoughts.

When a terrible accident compels her to end her betrothal, Cassandra heads for the country to recover from both her injuries and her broken heart. With time on her hands and good friends to help her, she pursues her love for ballooning and envisions a future for herself as a daring aeronaut. But when Lord Whittaker slips back into her life, will she have to choose between him and her dream?

And now give a warm welcome to Laurie Alice Eakes!

What is your favorite procrastination activity for those days you know you should be writing, but don't feel like it? 

Reading either research materials or obscure news articles. I’m a news junky.

What authors have inspired your writing style? 

I’d say Patricia Veryan and, to a lesser extent, Georgette Heyer, Jane Aiken Hodge and, don’t laugh at me, Charles Dickens.

You've written a lot of books. Do you still remember the first time you held a copy of your first book? What advice would you give to writers still trying to reach that milestone? 

Oh, yes, I remember. I was living in a high rise outside Washington, D.C., and the concierge called me over to tell me I had a package. He set the box on the counter, I took out my keys and opened it there, then stood hugging the top book in the box—it was a hardcover.

Advice? Just keep writing. Nothing gets you closer faster than perseverance. And be willing to learn and listen to criticism. It isn’t always nice. It isn’t always right, and it is mostly worth sifting for a crumb of truth for improvement.

What had been your favorite "author" moment? 

Seems like each new one is better than the last. The most recent favorite is sitting down in Dallas with two editors and a marketing person from my dream publisher to talk about my upcoming Regency series for them. I was so excited and nervous I completely missed dinner and didn’t even notice—until midnight when I was starving. I felt like, “Wow, this is really happening.”

You can learn more about Laurie Alice and Flight of Fancy on Regency Reflections all this week. You can also answer some trivia questions for a chance to win a wonderful gift basket that includes an Amazon gift card.

Flight of Fancy is available from most major retailers. Special thanks to Laurie Alice and Revell for my copy of the book.

Preparing to Flood Your Mind

I have a lot of friends that spent the past weekend at the American Christian Fiction Writers annual conference. While part of me is more than a little jealous of that, I am excited that I will be attending a smaller, more local conference in a couple of weeks.

For writers, conferences are like continuing education classes or special training sessions in other careers.

If you've never been to conference, let me explain what it is. Three days of experienced writers pouring knowledge into your brain with a firehose. In the midst of that you pull yourself together to meet with editors and agents and try to sell them your book in five minutes.

Craziness.

At the same time it's absolutely fabulous.

Because there are also experienced writers sitting in the seats next to you in the workshop. Such a fabulous reminder that we never perfect the craft. There is always something to improve upon.

But how do you prepare yourself to take in all of that information?

1. Sleep

I plan on getting to bed at reasonable times over the next two weeks. That way I should be well rested in time for the conference.

2. Exercise

It may seem silly to say that you need stamina to sit in a conference room all day, but if you're going to sit there and pay attention, you need some energy.

3. Write

I have some large writing goals between now and then. That way my mind is in a writing groove when I go to class. I know what my problems are, I know my stories, examples, and can see where their advice will fit.

Do you have any other thoughts on how to prepare for conference? Maybe some of you that just came back can share some knowledge.

Why Self-Published Books Get Bad Reputations

If you've been in the writing world much at all, you have likely stumbled across at least one "discussion" involving self-publishing versus traditional publishing. If you've never followed writers and agent blogs or email loops, you may not realize these two camps even exist.

As a writer, I've noticed a disturbing increase in the number of arguments that arise around this topic.

The Camps

Traditional publishing is what most people think of when they think of putting a book out there. Someone buys the book from the author, edits it, makes some cover art, and prints it for distribution in the bookstore. It's a really long process and the author is at the mercy of the acquiring editors, hoping to write a book someone wants to sell.

Self-publishing is just what it sounds like. Someone writes a book and does all the necessary work before publishing it. Sometimes these books are published in E-Book only, sometimes they run a small print to sell at speaking engagements and through a website. Rarely do they find their way into bookstores.

The Fight

Not all authors fight about this. Some happily rub shoulders with each other and celebrate every book, no matter the format.

But when things get ugly, here's what they say:

The self-pubbeds call the traditionalists lazy for not grabbing hold of their own careers and destinies. They say it's ridiculous to let someone else get such a chunk out of each book you sell. The publishing house is the equivalent of "the man" and he's out to get you and force your art into a certain mold. Besides, what's the publishing house doing for most authors these days? We have to do our own marketing anyway, so why not take care of everything else, too?

On the flip side, arguing traditionalists think self-pubbeds are impatient and sloppy, unwilling to perfect their work before throwing it out there. They also see that many self-pubbeds don't have a significant reach with their books. The audience is smaller, and the work load is higher.

Both methods have good points and bad points, and no side is ever really going to win. But I don't think the crux of the problem is really disagreeing with how someone chooses to publish.

The problem is the reputation of self-published authors. As a whole, their reputation is bad. Since I know plenty of really good self-published authors, I wondered about that.

The Problem

The problem is, if you self-publish right, I don't know you self-published. Your book looks professional, it's well written and well edited. Time and thought has gone into the plot and characters. In short, if the book is done right it looks like every other book put out by a traditional publisher.

But anyone can self-publish. And a lot of people do it badly.

EReaders give easy access to self-published books.

I was reading a book the other day with a great premise, an intriguing idea, and potentially lovable characters. I didn't make it past page three.

The writing was full of typos, the point of view was inconsistent (and I mean in a first person to third person kind of way), and the heroine's name changed on page four. I couldn't keep reading.

Sure enough, there was no publisher listed in the book's credentials. Someone had thrown their idea into a computer file, said "Wow! I wrote a book!", and noticed they could toss it out into cyberspace with very little money or effort.

So they did.

And the problem is that I looked and saw it was self-published. Unless I absolutely love a book, I don't make a habit of looking up its publisher. Closer inspection of my reading list revealed several self-published books I had enjoyed, but I wouldn't have looked if I hadn't been writing this article.

The Solution

Unfortunately, there isn't one.

Aside from a good self-pubbed author walking around telling everyone they published their own books, there's no way to make sure people know you're managing every aspect of your own career.

A group's reputation sinks to the lowest level represented. When there's no gatekeeper, the low can be pretty low.

There's nothing to do to change the general reputation, but we can stop the fighting by realizing the truth about the source of self-publishing's reputation.

All pictures from WikiCommons. 

Waiting For The Best ~ Life Lessons from A Fast Food Drive-Thru

Confession time! I know, I know that happens a lot around here.

Photo by Wiki Commons

My family eats too much fast food. We eat it at least twice a week, frequently three, and occasionally more. Part of it is because we have such a long drive to church (It takes at least 45 minutes but we always have to allow an hour.)

On Wednesdays, we not only eat fast food, we eat it in the car. (Remember.... 45 minute drive...) All this means I've gotten very familiar with the fast food drive thru line. And I've noticed something.

They're slow with the straws.

Because of the way things are set up in drive thru lines, you get your drink almost immediately. Sometimes they hand them to you before you hand them your payment, which can be really awkward when neither of you has a hand free to actually receive what the other is trying to pass you.

So your drink is in your hand (or your cup holder) and it's all cold and yummy and you're thirsty because you spent the past hour running around putting kids on shoes (or shoes on kids, depending on your viewpoint) and gathering Bibles and other church goodies and such. And there in front of you is the wonderful, if unhealthy, cure for your thirst.

But they didn't give you a straw.

I don't really follow the football much, but have to take this moment to cheer on my alma mater. Go jackets! Sting 'em!

You see they've started putting the straws in the food bags. I guess this is so they don't forget them. But it means they hand you your drink and don't give you a straw. So the cup sits there, mocking you. The cup starts sweating because there's cold deliciousness inside but you don't have a straw.

Now I understand that a straw is not a requirement for drinking a drink. I could take the lid off and sip it that way. But there are many problems with this:

1. I'm clumsy. I've dropped a cup in the car more times than I care to admit and been very thankful for that little piece of plastic keeping most of the liquid where it belongs - in my cup.

2. I'm going to have to replace the lid so I can put the straw in to make it drinkable as I drive down the road. Because I can't be tipping my head back with a cup in front of my face as I truck down the interstate. So why take it off because...

3. I always seem to break the lids when I remove them. It's a special talent. I thought about trying out for America's Got Talent, but I couldn't see me making a whole Las Vegas show out of that skill.

What this all means is that, in my case at least, it's better to just let the cup sit and wait for the straw. Sometimes I'll get lucky and they hand me the straw with the cup, but that is becoming more and more rare. Most of the time I have to wait for the better way to drink my drink.

Life is like that.

I love this picture. I know nothing about it but it looks like these two women are waiting on something important. One is content to sit and wait, possibly dreaming about whatever is coming. The other is looking to get out or hide. It's pretty cool. Photo from WikiCommons

Sometimes we know what we want. We can see it. We're so close we can almost taste it.

But we don't have the necessary means to get there yet. There's a quicker option but we run the potential of spills and mess and damage to a part we might need later on.

I can really relate this to book publishing. Right now, there is a lot of discussion about traditional vs. self publishing. A variety of hybrid models have started coming out too.

Let's say you have a book (I do) and it's great (I like to think so.) and it sits on your computer, asking you what you intend to do with it. Most authors want their book published. It's sort of the natural culmination of the book writing process.

You can get to it immediately by publishing it yourself, and for some people this works amazingly well. For others, drink gets spilled everywhere until there isn't a need for a straw because there's nothing left in the cup.

Your other option is to wait for traditional publishing. It's a little slower, but you have less risk once you get it. IF you self-publish the editing, cover art, everything is on your shoulders. There's no advance, no safety net, no nothing.

I'm not trying to get a self vs. traditional war started here. (Believe me they can be ugly.)

What I'm saying is that sometimes in life, the thing that's better requires a little more wait. There are times when the shortcut just isn't worth the risk.

Have you ever experienced that? Have you ever taken a shortcut and ended up with a giant mess on your hands?

Milestones ~ My Journey So Far

Sometimes milestones are big and obvious and you know they're coming. Like birthdays, anniversaries (whether marital or work related), and Christmas. They're on the calendar, other people are talking about them and they are easy to spot and catalog.

Other milestones catch you by surprise. Something significant happens and it makes you turn around and realize just how far you've come.

That happened to me this week.

Two years ago, I suffered from insomnia while I was pregnant with my third child. This isn't a good thing when you have two other small children to care for. It makes you really tired.

Playing computer games got old and I had too much restlessness to sit and read a book. TV was too loud and could wake up someone else in the house. So I started writing. This isn't new. I've started books before on numerous occasions. I came across a notebook with the beginning of a book I wrote in 3rd grade. It has a lot of company.

This time, it was different. This time I finished it and I looked at it and realized I actually liked it. It was good (or so I thought at the time). I showed it to my husband and a good friend of mine.

About a year ago they convinced me to get serious about it. To really go for it and figure out what it took to get it published. I looked into writing groups because it seemed like that would be a good source of help and encouragement. (It totally is, by the way. If you are seriously wanting to write, I highly suggest joining one or two.)

The first GRW (Georgia Romance Writers) meeting I went to, they were announcing the finalists for that years Maggies - a writing award with categories for published and unpublished writers.  Soon after this I got serious about my writing, started a blog, took some online classes, and attended GRW's annual conference.

GRW announced this year's Maggie finalists at Saturday's meeting.

I am one.

It made me realize just how far I've come in a year. And that is a good feeling.

What moments have made you look back and realize just how far you've come?

That Crazy English Language ~ What Almost Kept Me From Becoming A Writer

Confession time! I don't know how to diagram a sentence. I don't actually know what a participle is, dangling or otherwise. Whatever it is that makes a tense perfect eludes me completely.

In short, other than spelling, the crazy ins and outs of the English language and it's accompanying grammar befuddle me. I think it's a combination of the fact that it's complicated and that I've never learned it.

My husband can't even spell, so he frequently bemoans our native language.

I saw this picture on Facebook last week:

I laughed so hard because it is completely true! 

The thing is, the intricacies and absurdities of the language kept me from pursuing writing for years. I have always wanted to write. I have a box of stories and book projects from when I was in school, but somewhere along the way, the passion to write got dampened by my inability to properly place a comma. 

Now, nearly twenty years after my first attempt to write a novel, I've learned something. You can't let what you can't do keep you from doing what you can do, especially if it's something you love. Most of the time what you can't do, is something you can learn or can bring someone in to help you with. 

What have you wanted to do but felt a major roadblock stood in your way? Did you find a way to move it?

Because of spammer problems I have had to close the comments on this post. I apologize for the inconvenience. 

When Being Yourself Breaks the Rules ~ A Peek At A Writer's Life

I write this post with my tongue in my cheek. Figuratively speaking. If I actually stuck my tongue in my cheek I'd probably bite it and that would hurt.

Anyway, since I am as yet unpublished, everything I'm about to say could be a total load of bunk. A year or two from now I might be recanting this post. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to live dangerously.

The average reader would probably be surprised by the number of "rules" writers are forever being told to write by. I won't go into them because, frankly, they don't matter. If you like a book - great! If you don't, well, there could be a whole lot of reasons for it.

One "rule" is that you aren't supposed to use adverbs. You know, those pesky little -ly words that run rampant through all of my writing? Yeah, those.

I like adverbs. To me, they can change a sentence entirely. Now, I understand not peppering your book with things like this:

"I'm home from the market," she said cheerily. 

"Did you leave any for someone else?" he asked sarcastically.

"Of course not!" She smiled as she walked away jauntily.

There's so many things wrong with that little snippet of writing that I can't even begin to tell you. Rest assured, my book is better than that. But the point is that -ly words got a bad rep for being lazy writing because of examples like the above.

As I've started putting my writing out there in hopes of publication, I've gotten a lot of compliments on my "voice". (That's the general flow and feel of an author's writing.) I think -ly words are a large part of my voice because without them, I feel like a lot of my sentences get stilted.

Now, because -ly words can sometimes be an indication of lazy writing, God has blessed me with a critique partner that ruthlessly challenges every adverb I use, which means I'm left with only the ones that I am fully committed to. (Obviously, she doesn't edit my blog posts... )

But I've had to come to terms with the fact that part of who I am as a writer goes against some accepted notions. The feedback I've gotten around that seems to be working for me, even if I do break the rules.

So what do you do when who you are seems to go against the norm? I think you roll with it. Since the Bible doesn't outlaw adverbs, I'm good with using them. Everyone might not like my writing, but there's a lot of people that do.

Life is like that, too. There are "rules" about church, work, family, and everything else, but sometimes you just can't fit within the rules. I know pastors reaching hundred in churches that hold services on Saturday nights, or in a closed down bar, or with slamming rock and roll music playing.

I think some rules make fabulous guidelines and should never be broken just for the sake of being broken. But unless the Bible specifically speaks against it, don't be afraid to break those unofficial always-been-accepted rules.

Have you broken an unofficial rule? Did it work for you?


images by FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Be Careful What You Wish For...

If you follow a lot of pre-published author blogs (such as this one) you've probably seen a scattering of posts about contest results and what they learned from them. Because it's that time of year, when the big contests start eliminating people from the running for those coveted awards.

Let me say that I had no intention of writing such an article until Saturday night.

If you haven't read Friday's post, take a moment and go look at it. In it I talk about how I want to shift my writing goal from being enormously popular to having someone fanatically like my writing. That was the essence of it anyway.

On Saturday, I got my scores back from the ACFW Genesis contest. I had advanced to the second round, which meant six sets of judge's marks and comments. They were everywhere. I ranged from pretty low to very high.

It was rather discouraging. Having made it to the second round, I was expecting relatively high scores across the board. The comments were very constructive and helpful and I am truly grateful to every judge who gave it their time and attention. But I wanted better scores. I wanted them to like me. I wanted them to adore my writing.

Then God called me on the carpet. He made me go back and reread what I had written on Friday.

You see, there was one judge that really liked my entry. She loved my style, story, and characters. She thought it was fabulous. Interestingly enough, she had several improvement points in the comments despite the very high score, but at the end of the day she just liked it.

It hit me that I had gotten exactly what I asked for. Suddenly, everything was better. I was able to read the other judges' comments with a different viewpoint. With an eye toward improving what I write without losing what makes me uniquely me. (Interestingly enough, that was the core of the comments from the lowest scoring judge. Which is really pretty cool.)

But I touched one person in a major way, and that is what I felt God calling me to desire. What He wanted me to focus on. In less that twenty-four hours I had gotten caught back up in the obsession of status and across the board achievement.

Do my writing have a ways to go? Probably. Did I learn a lot from the judges notes? An incredible amount. But the main thing is, God told me what He wanted me to focus on and strive for. And then He gave me a taste of what that might look like in the real world. And I learned more from that then anything else.

Had God taught you a lesson lately? When was the last time you had to be reminded that you had gotten exactly what you asked for?


Free images from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Value of the Five Star Review ~ A Peek at a Writer's Life

You see them almost everywhere these days. Five little stars, some of them colored yellow or red, indicating what other people think of the particular item. How much weight do you give them? Do you even consider them?

I haven't thought much about them until recently. The only place I ever filled them in was Netflix and that was so I could get better suggestions from them. Generally speaking, I don't do Amazon reviews or go around to other sites and tell people what I think.

A few weeks ago I signed up for GoodReads. If you've never heard of this site, it's where you can keep track of books you've read, books you want to read, and interact with other fans of said books and their authors. It's really a neat site, though I'm still learning it.

If you're on there and want to connect with me, you can find my profile here.

The first thing you do when you sign up for GoodReads is rate a bunch of books so that it can offer you suggestions and hook you up with similar readers. I started using their scale, happily rating more than fifty books before stumbling to a halt.

They were asking me to rate a book I didn't like. A book I really didn't like. One I didn't like so much that I didn't finish reading it - I just skimmed through to the end to see if it got any better. Instead of giving it the one star rating I felt it deserved, I skipped it. I just clicked "not interested" and moved on. I've felt like a chicken ever since.

Do you review and rate books? Do those little colored stars factor into your buying decision?

Authors talk a lot about ratings and book reviews. It's rather important to us that people like our book, after all.  Ratings and reviews give us a glimpse into what people think about books... sometimes. I tried to be honest in rating my books. The scale according to GoodReads is this:

    - 1 star - I didn't like it
    - 2 stars - it was ok
    - 3 stars - I liked it
    - 4 stars - I really like it
    - 5 stars - it was amazing

I followed it. Which means I ended up with several books at two and three stars. I started to feel bad. How would I feel seeing a fellow author give my book two stars? Should I even rate books? Only rate them if I was going to give them a high rating? I refuse to inflate my ratings just because I happen to like the author as a person or because I want people to think Christian fiction is so stellar it's above putting out a mediocre book.

But I know this happens. I know people who've done this. They read a fellow author's new book and want to help them sell their book, so they give it a glowing five star review, when all it really deserved was a respectable four stars, or maybe it was just okay and should have a three.

The converse also happens. I've seen MANY one star reviews, particularly after a book has been on free promotion, that trash a book just because it's Christian. The story may be excellent, the writing superb, but the content is Christian and they were trying to fool everybody into reading it by making their book free for a couple of days. At least according to the reviewer.

I removed the identifying information on this review, because I'm not trying to bash someone for leaving their opinion. I just wanted to give an example.

All of this means that ratings and reviews have gotten to the point of being nearly worthless, or worse, detrimental.

What do you think about those little colored stars? Do they factor in to your purchasing decisions? Do you rate books?

If you're an author, what do you think when you see a fellow author give you something besides a five star rating? Does it hurt your relationship with them?

The Ups and Downs of Social Media ~ Peek At A Writer's Life

Recently, I decided to get on twitter (you can follow me here) since that's just one of those things aspiring authors do to prove to prospective agents and editors that we can handle ourselves in the big bad world of social media.

I created my account, found some of my favorite people to follow and started figuring out how I wanted to throw things out into the void of cyberspace. After a few days I decided to toss a comment to one of the people I followed, because that's really what twitter is about - conversations.

That was a few weeks ago and I've been thinking about this brief three minutes of my life off and on ever since. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been obsessing about it or anything, but I've been thinking about it and what I can learn from it. I've learned that there are some really good things about social media and some really bad things.

Here's what happened. 

I follow Jon Acuff. He's an awesome blogger that makes me think and laugh at the same time. If you don't follow him, you should.

He posted an article, you can read it here, mentioning people posting pictures of notes on instagram for the express purpose of guilting people into clicking "like" so the pictures can become popular. They say things such as "Like this post if you want to cure cancer." I whole-heartedly agree with the article. I'm not on instragram, but the Facebook statuses and email forwards with the same type of message irk me.

Later that same day, Jon (Mr. Acuff? Jon Acuff? What's the proper way to respectfully refer to a public person you don't actually know?) liked a post from instagram that was a note. Now, it was not a note guilting anyone into anything. It was a great message. You can see it here.

You can pack a lot of misunderstanding into 140 characters.

I found it a bit ironic that he was liking a picture of a note after writing about pictures of notes. It was such a stark contrast to the types of notes he had been talking about that it struck me as funny and I wondered if he thought it was funny too.

So I told him.

He didn't think it was funny. Or he didn't think I thought it was funny. Or maybe he just wanted to make sure someone who hadn't read the article realized there was a difference. You can pack a lot of misunderstanding into 140 characters.  He answered me almost immediately letting me know that he had not been talking about that kind of instagram note in his article.

I responded back that I had not meant it to be derogatory and that was the end of the conversation.



The Good, The Bad, and The Grumpy

The fact that this conversation happened at all is one of the good things about social media. I don't know Jon. I have never met him, and there's little chance I ever will. The opportunity to talk to someone whose work I like and respect is a neat thing about the internet - twitter especially, from what I can tell.

The fact that it was a short back and forth and not a real conversation where people actually discuss things until they both understand each other is the bad thing.

I get really sad when I think I've hurt someone's feelings. I get really grumpy when I feel like I've acted like an idiot. Despite that, I'm really glad this happened. Why? Two reasons:

1. I'll be more careful in the future. I try to be really careful anyway, but I see now I could have said something else to create less confusion. I thought I was being funny the way I worded it. Clearly it didn't work.

2. I'll be a bit more understanding (I hope!) when it's me on the other side. God willing, I will one day have followers I've never met and people messaging me with things that can be taken multiple ways. If I remember this moment, maybe I'll be more inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt.

You'll notice I'm not siting the actual conversation and I'm posting this three weeks after it happened. Why? Because the conversation isn't what's important. To have everyone else analyzing three little sentences would be pointless and I'm pretty sure I'd come out the bad guy, or at least the wrong guy. The conversation itself is not what this post is about. It's about what I learned about social media from it.

Wrapping It Up

Is all this social media a good thing? I think so. I know I keep in touch with people I otherwise wouldn't. It gives me more direct contact with people I would normally only see once or twice a week. As a writer, it will let me connect with my readers (when I have some!) in ways authors weren't able to before.

I also think it's something we need to be very careful with. A simple misunderstanding can have massive repercussions. In some cases, it can mean the end of a friendship or even a division in a church. In my case it's just a few moments of embarrassment. Unless Jon uses Google Alerts, finds this article, and decides to read it. In which case... Hi, Jon! Hope you enjoyed it.

So think twice before you post. Make sure your meaning is clear. And if you only have 140 characters, try to make sure they're the right ones.

The Silver Lining

The only good thing is that I have since learned that I think I used the @Reply differently than I thought I had, so it's pretty likely that no one but me and Jon saw the conversation. And that is a blessing.



What about you? Have limited space or lack of ability to transmit tone gotten you in trouble on the internet?

A Peek Into My Bookshelves: The Guy I'm Not Dating

Trish Perry is here today! Want to know why?

There are lots of wonderful sites and blogs that tell you about wonderful new releases and books that are coming out so you can plan you're reading future. That got me thinking, though, that there are lots of great older books that readers might have missed the first time around. In my room I have a small bookcase with my favorite books that I occasionally go back and re-read. Since these books are so fabulous I'm going to share some of them with you occasionally in case you missed them the when they came out.

Which brings me to why Trish Perry has stopped by for a spot of tea today. She wrote one of my absolute favorite contemporary Christian romance books ever. It's called The Guy I'm Not Dating and if the title itself doesn't intrigue you, the first line, "Yowza!" probably will.

This book was a sort of homecoming for me. I will make a confession. For a while I got a bit turned off by the available Christian romance. I know now that I kept picking up the wrong ones, but it seemed all I ever found was serious and involved at least one of the main characters getting saved. Don't get me wrong, that's great, but I was craving a funny story about people already walking with the Lord.

Enter The Guy I'm Not Dating which is just that. It's funny. It's laugh out loud funny. Even after multiple reads I still giggle. The characters are real and relatable. They have hearts to follow God, but they are still flawed. The Gospel is still shared because there is a conversion scene, but I'll leave you guessing as to which secondary character it is. You just might be surprised.

Here's the book description:

Kara Richardson has finally suffered one breakup too many. She's decided to go the no-dating route to romance, although she's not quite sure how that works.

She couldn't have picked a worse time to meet Gabe Paolino. Gorgeous men hardly faze Kara. A personal trainer, she works with hunks every day. But Gabe, the handsome young deli owner in town, proves way too available and way too challenging for Kara's vow of friendship. How will she adhere to her new lifestyle without scaring Gabe away?

Enter matchmaking friends, a strange elderly aunt, three demanding teens, and one hard-to-take vixen with eyes for Gabe. Add an overcrowded road trip and plenty of God's blessings, and Kara may discover that the guy she's not dating is the best boyfriend she's ever had.

And here's Trish Perry!

Q: As your first published book, I'm sure The Guy I'm Not Dating holds a special place in your heart. How do you feel when you look back on it? 

TP: Yes, although The Guy I'm Not Dating was the third book I wrote, it was the first one I published, so it will always be special for me. You know, I haven't read that book since I wrote it, back in 2005, but that's something I'd really like to do. I think it would feel like reading a book written by someone else. The distance of time sometimes allows for that, and I'd get a chance to see its strengths and flaws.

Q: I know you have carried some of the characters into other books already, but do you have plans to write stories for any of the other characters? I've always wondered what happens to Gabe's siblings. 

TP: That's how it is for the authors, too, as I'm sure you'll see, Kristi, with your own characters. Even though the characters come out of our own imaginations, after we move on, we feel as if their lives continue. But the decision about how long to carry a series ultimately rests with the publisher. Even though Harvest House and I decided to include Kara, Gabe, and their friends in Too Good to Be True and Beach Dreams, we didn't plan to look further into the lives of the secondary characters, like Gabe's siblings. Maybe someday  . . .

Q: All writers know the journey to that first printed book can be a long one. Do you remember how you felt the first time you held this book in your hands? What is one thing you know now that you would love to have known then? 

TP: I definitely remember how I felt when I received my first author copy of The Guy I'm Not Dating, and I've talked about it often, because it was kind of revelatory. 

Although I was pleased and should have been flooded with joy, I looked at the book and suddenly worried it wasn't good enough. My family could now read it and see I wasn't as talented as they thought I was. My friends would do the same. Strangers would read the book and post horrible comments about me online. Even my publisher would suddenly realize it was contracted with this total hack for another book. Maybe all of those things would happen because God needed to show me that writing wasn't really what He had in mind for me. I had a mini-panic attack, I guess. 

So I prayed about it, and rather quickly God put my mind at rest. I didn't hear His voice, but I felt it so strongly, I know it was Him. I knew that Heknew my heart. I wanted to serve and honor Him with my writing. Why would He throw that back in my face? Did I really think that was how He operated? If He wanted me serving Him in some other way, He would guide me in that direction, not stomp on my efforts at writing. As long as I dedicated my writing to Him each day and continued to feel drawn to it, I didn't need to worry about my writing journey. He would bless my efforts or lovingly draw me to something else. That's how He operates.

And that comforting awareness is the one thing I know now that I would love to have know right from the start.

Thank you so much for stopping by! 

You can buy The Guy I'm Not Dating at Amazon, BarnesAndNoble.com, and SignedByTheAuthor.com.

Life Lessons from an Area Code

I have a manuscript sitting on an editor's desk. It's amazingly exciting. The first day or two after I sent it in, I was all jumpy and excited, even though I knew it wasn't even there yet. After a couple of days, I settled down. I moved on and stopped thinking about it for the most part. Then I got a phone call.

My phone rang and I glanced at the caller ID. There was no name, just a phone number. But that phone number had a 212 area code. If you didn't know, 212 is the area code for New York City and for a writer I think it could be three of the most exciting numbers they will ever see.

My heart leaped into my throat, I ran out of the room, leaving the kids munching on chicken nuggets, and answered the phone in the most professional voice my excited breathlessness would allow. Nothing. The call didn't completely connect. I heard a clicking silence for a while and then the ominous *beep, beep, beep* of a disconnected call.

Photo by Dani_vr (Flickr)

I panicked. I tried calling the number back - it was busy and didn't go to voicemail, which started me thinking that it was probably not the editor, but a sales call of some kind. I did a Google reverse search on it and didn't really come up with anything except that the number belonged to a doctor fifteen years ago. Not much help.

Eventually I had to give up. But that made me start wondering. 212. A simple collection of numbers that got me as hyped and excited as I was when I first sent in the manuscript. Life needs more 212s. I need more things in my life that remind me of the simple joys and excitements and profound meanings that get lost in the everyday shuffle. I needs things that remind me how wonderful it is to be saved, how precious time with my children is, and how loving and caring my husband is.


What are your 212s? What are the things that just remind you of the giddiness and wonder that we lose after the initial luster of something rubs off?

Just For Fun - Best Book Trailer Ever

I got this from Ane Mulligan who got it from Steve Laube. Don't you just love the internet?

This video is a great giggle, even aside from the fact that it's a book trailer. This is the type of book trailer that is actually effective.


How Sermons Work from HeadHeartHand Media on Vimeo.

Enjoy!

NaNoWriMo

It's NaNoWriMo!

If you are not familiar with NaNoWriMo, it is National Novel Writing Month. You can sign up here to track your progress and talk to other writers. The idea is to buckle down and write a 50,000+ word novel in one month. I'm planning on spinning out the first draft of my next book.

Are you participating?

The Importance of Community

Never underestimate the importance of having people around that will uplift, encourage, and help you. Last night I had the privilege of dining with a couple of new author friends. When I got there I was scared about going to my first conference, worried the pitch I had written was too cheesy, and generally feeling unsure about every step I had taken so far on my writer's journey.

Oh the difference when I left. These two wonderful women gave me a few pointers and few sentences of encouragement and a few moments of camaraderie. What they really and truly gave me though was a renewed sense of purpose and confidence.

It is so important to have people we can turn to that will help, guide, and support. Whenever possible, find someone who's been there and acquired some credibility in your eyes, because then the smallest word of encouragement carries such tremendous weight.

Never, ever underestimate to power of choosing not to go it alone.

Rejection

As a writer, rejection becomes part of your world very quickly. It starts with you rejecting things you've written until finally, FINALLY, something comes through your keyboard that you are happy enough with to show to someone else. From there, the rejections just keep coming. There are many different types of rejections.

1. The Straight Rejection
For writers this usually comes in one of two forms: the form rejection from an agent or editor and the "I just don't get it." from an early reader. There isn't much you can do about these rejections except suck it up, go back to your computer, and see if you can make it better.

2. The Assumed Rejection
Similar to the straight rejection, this comes from the agent or editor with the policy that essentially says, if we don't call you assume we aren't interested. I always go ahead and enter "no" on my tracking spreadsheet.

There is nothing you can do about these two types of rejections and there is little room for misinterpreting them. They mean no. They mean something about your work wasn't ready, wasn't good, or wasn't what they wanted. You take your blows and either quit or see if you can do better next time.

But there is another type of rejection as well.

3. The Perceived Rejection
This is when you start decided other people have rejected you or your work when they haven't really said any such thing. I am so bad about this. I recently joined an online critique group. It is really difficult to see some submitted chapters getting critique after critique while mine just kind of sits there. There are submittals that get critiques turned in mere hours later, as if people just couldn't wait to get their hands on the next chapter. Mine doesn't get that kind of reaction.

So in my head I have decided everyone on their hates my work. There is NO GROUNDS for this way of thinking. None. There are a million reasons - okay maybe not a million but several - why my chapter isn't getting any action. Maybe I'm posting at a bad time and people aren't seeing it. Maybe they just aren't drawn to that time period or genre. Maybe they are already following so many stories they don't have time to add another to their plate. Or maybe they read it, didn't like it, and closed the document without doing a critique. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Perceived Rejection happens in all areas of life - not just writing. I constantly find myself living life under the umbrella of perceived rejection. Maybe they don't look interested in what I'm saying because they think I'm boring. (Reality - they're teenagers and they stayed up half the night so they are half asleep.) Maybe they canceled the dinner party because they really don't want to hang out with me. (Reality - He really does have to work all day the next day.) I am tired of beating myself up over a maybe. If maybe is going to be a part of my life, I want it to actually do something for me.

Maybe they read my chapter, thought it was wonderful and they couldn't improve on it, so they didn't critique it. Maybe today will be the day that agent writes me back requesting a full proposal. Maybe today will be the day someone posts a comment on my fledgling little blog. ;)

Is it easy to kick that perceived rejection out of your life? Not at all. But maybe today will be the day you accomplish it.