Guerrilla Warfare ~ Kindness Style

As the jack-o-lanterns disappear, turkeys and cornucopias slowly take their place. Thanksgiving is just around the corner with Christmas right behind. For many it is a time of love and celebration, but there are also a whole lot of people that dread this time of year because they feel alone, unloved, and depressed. Even more feel stressed and stretched with all the busyness of the season.

While you're giving thanks for all the blessings in your life, try to take some time to give someone else something to be thankful for.

About a month ago, I was privileged to hear a woman speak who really reminded me that the ultimate in selfless giving is an act of kindness given with no expectation of anything in return. During a season of giving, that can be very difficult. I know I always have a generic gift or two under the tree in case someone shows up at my house with an unexpected present.

This woman, known on the internet as The Kindness Girl, has made it a main and vital part of her life to spread kindness in other people's lives in such a way that they can't pay it back, so all they can do is sit back and be loved. It's been called Random Acts of Kindness, Paying It Forward, and countless other things, but the idea remains the same. I like how Kindness Girl phrases it - Guerrilla Goodness.

Guerrilla warfare is a form of combat where small groups of combatants ambush their adversaries, catching them off guard and then disappearing as quickly as they came, leaving devastation in their wake.

Guerrilla Goodness follows the same philosophy - Pop up, spread some love, then run away leaving only the love behind, without any guilt or stress to return the favor. It's good for you, too. Because when you are engaging your brain in finding ways to be kind, you aren't focusing on the bad things. You'll start seeing others with gentler eyes, looking for ways to slip them a smile and remain anonymous.

Love the idea but need some ideas? Try one of these:

Ding Dong Ditch Your Neighbors

We did this with our kids recently. They. Loved. It. This works the same as the childhood prank except that you leave a small gift behind before you ring the bell and run for your life. You can see examples and videos at GuerrillaGoodness.com.

Deliver Cookies to Civil Servants

Police Station, Brunswick, GA, via Wikimedia Commons

This one is a little bit different because you'll actually be seen, but they won't know who you are. Stop by a fire or police station with a platter full of baked goodies. I absolutely love doing this because they are always so appreciative of the gesture.

In my experience, police stations are a little harder to deliver to than fire stations are, but it just depends on how the ones in your area are set up. If you have small children with you and they aren't busy, the fire stations will frequently give you a tour and let the kids see the fire engines. They don't always have time for this so don't be bummed if they just thank you and let you leave.

Mow a Lawn / Rake Some Leaves / Shovel a Sidewalk

The actual act may vary depending on where you live, but the gesture of anonymous yard work is always a good one. It can be a bit difficult to pull off - after all anyone who drives by will see you - but the act is huge. If you really want to be sneaky, do theirs but wait a day or two before doing your own. Then they'll never suspect you, assuming someone did it while they were doing their own.

Pay it Backward

This is really popular right now. When you're sitting at the drive thru, pay for the person behind you. Our McDonalds use the dual window system, so you would get totally caught doing it at one of those drive thrus, but there are still plenty of places where you could be on the road before the person behind you knows what you did.

Looking for more ways? Check out GuerrillaGoodness.com for loads of other ideas for spreading kindness around your life. She even has a Family Kindness Kit that you can download to start the kindness ball rolling right within your own family.

Have you had an experience giving or receiving an anonymous gift of love? What did you do or how did it make you feel?

Make It Happen ~ Life Lessons from Yoda

Do. Or do not. There is no try. - Yoda

In case you missed the news this week, Disney now owns Lucasfilm, which I suppose makes Leia an acceptable nomination for the next Disney princess. Whether or not you are a maniacal Star Wars fan, elements of the movie have made their way into your life as they seeped into our culture over the last forty years.

The above quote from Yoda is one of those things.

I've heard it, I've used it, and I'm guessing you probably have to. If you haven't, then you've at least seen Nike's version at some time in your life, Just Do It.

The mentality behind both of those famous statements is that "trying" makes failure an acceptable option. By saying "I'll try" you are saying that part of you thinks you won't actually succeed. Yoda and Nike both think that's a recipe for failure.

Think of something you've always wanted to do. How many times have you started? How many times have you quit?

I've been thinking about this a lot this week as many friends of mine gear up for NaNoWriMo.

If you've ever wanted to be a writer but aren't sure if you have it in you, I encourage you to tackle NaNoWriMo. You're only a day or two behind right now, so there's no excuse not to jump in. The idea is that you write a 50,000+ word novel in a month.

It's doable. That is what got me started writing (though I did it in June, not November, but still). Because if you nail your butt to the chair and hammer out 50,000 words, you can look at it and say, "I did it. Now is it any good? Is it something I want to pursue?"

If you never get those 50,000 words down? Well, you don't have the option of moving forward.

(One note here, if you do hammer out a novel this month, DO NOT assume it's ready to go come December. The only way you can throw down 50,000+ words in a month is if you ignore editing and rewriting entirely. Please don't assume a publish-ready book will spill from your fingers in 30 days unless your name is Nora Roberts. I think she spits books out in her sleep.)

I'm not in a position to write a new novel this month, but I have other things I want to do. So I'm making November Anti-Procrastination month for me. I have friends doing NaNoWriMo, so I intend to utilize and join in the encouragement but with some slightly adjusted goals.

Won't you join me? Throw try out the window and let's get it done. Where do you want to be on December 1. Break it into mini-goals - one for every day of the month of November. Not do them. No try, no maybe, no we'll see.

I think it's time we all take advice from a small, wrinkly green muppet in swoosh decorated sneakers. Let's do it.

This month I'm getting back into my favorite jeans and finishing some book proposal submittals that have been sitting on my desk for a while. What are you going to tackle this month?

The Society of Judgement

I've noticed something lately, and it's a bit disturbing.

We are a society of judges.

Photo by Salvatore Vuono, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Maybe it's the prevalence of blogs, the psuedo-security of the perceived anonymity of social media like Facebook, or the focus on building everyone's self-esteem so they think they're more important than others, but I've noticed an awful lot of people spewing judgments lately.

Most of the time they don't have a lot of information, either.

For example, a few weeks ago, Melissa Rycroft hurt her neck during rehearsal of Dancing With the Stars. Possibly in an attempt to make sure people tuned in to the show, not much was released about the incident in which she injured herself.

Prior to watching the show, I came across an article talking about how Melissa should leave the flipping and crazy stunts to Shawn Johnson because as the mother of a young child she shouldn't risk such a serious injury. While there might be some validity to that assessment - Melissa does try some risky things - I had several problems with the article.

1. Melissa was injured doing a fairly basic move. 

At the time of the article, the true nature of the accident was unknown, but the author just assumed it was a fall during a daring lift. She made her assessment according to that assumption.

It wasn't correct.

Melissa doing some awesome dancing on DWTS.

In truth, Melissa's injury was one of those freak accident kind of things - like when you turn around too fast when someone talks to you and manage to twist your ankle. Her tennis shoe gripped on the floor and her body twisted funny, causing the injury.

2. The author made assumptions about Melissa's background.

At one point the author says "Melissa was just on The Bachelor" so she shouldn't be doing these crazy stunts and flips.

Melissa was actually a professional cheerleader prior to her Bachelor days. She made be a little further from her flipping and twirling days than Shawn is, but that's a background that would inspire some fancy moves and risk. Admittedly, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders are more of a dance team than a flipping team, but the physical stamina and abilities are still higher than your average woman. That background would inspire me to be a bit riskier.


Then there's the whole Lance Armstrong debacle.

Now, I'm not an avid sports fan, so I haven't pored over every available article or know all the minute details about the case, but from the several things I have seen, the average person doesn't know much.

Here's about all I've been able to find out:
        - The USADA is charging Lance Armstrong with using banned substances and doping.
        - They have several former teammates who will testify to this - some of which are athletes who failed drug tests after previous major races.
        - Lance Armstrong never failed a drug test after winning a race (or ever that I can find documented).
        - Lance is tired of fighting the accusations, which he claims are false, so he is dropping his opposition to the charges.

Photo by de:Benutzer:Hase, via Wikimedia Commons

I'll be honest - that's not a lot of information. It's enough for a lot of people though. There's even several people demanding that charitable donations to Lance Armstrong's charity be returned. Nowhere in any of the articles I've seen does anyone dispute the fact that Armstrong beat testicular cancer or accuse his charity of misusing funds. Also, despite the USADA and several media outlets attempts to make it so, Armstrong's cessation of defense does not equate to an admission of guilt.

I'm reminded of a girl in my high school. She had the reputation as the, ahem, easiest girl in the class. Jokes were made about her, people shunned her, and pretty much her reputation was in shreds. In what is probably the natural progression of that type of reputation, the rumor started that she was pregnant.

I actually talked to her once after this rumor started spreading. She told me she was a virgin and that all of that stuff had been made up. Maybe I'm naive, but I believed her. Given the fact that her belly never got big and she didn't suddenly "move away" for six months, I'm inclined the think the rumors were false.

Maybe Lance is in that kind of position. There's a lot of people saying something different than what he's saying. And because we like to judge, we want the naysayers to be right. It seems we want people to do wrong things and make bad decisions so we can judge them out of turn and have something to talk about on our many blogs and talk shows and entertainment columns.

I don't know if we're snapping to these judgments so we can feel important or smart, or maybe to feel victimized by life, but I don't want a part of it.

That isn't to say that there aren't things or people that are wrong or that we can never stand on the fact/opinion that some things are right or wrong. All I'm calling for is that we gather as much information as we can and we be willing to say when we don't have enough.

Have you noticed a spirit of judgment in yourself or those around you? What can we do to help each other stop, take a breath, and do a little research before pronouncing judgement on each other?

And now a bit of church history...

Normally I share an object lesson or little life insight on Fridays, but this week, Regency Reflections featured an amazing article on the the shifts in faith and religion during the 18th and 19th centuries in England.

I think sometimes in America we forget all the turmoil and change that the churches went through  in Europe prior to the religious history in this country. The article, posted in three parts this week, looks at John Wesley and the start of the Methodist denomination, the impact of science and the industrial revolution on faith, and prominent and powerful English figures that held strong faith and values.

Today, I'm asking you to take the time you would normally spend reading my blog (okay, maybe a little more time than normal) and read God in the Regency by Regan Walker.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

The Fear of Success

"The more I learn, the less I know." 

I'm not sure who said that. I'd love to attribute it correctly, but the illustrious internet gave me three possible options and about twenty variations, so, sadly, I don't know who actually said it first.

Regardless of it's origins, it's message remains true. At least in writing. I've mentioned before the stunning distance my writing has come in the past year. The thing is, the more I learn what to change in my writing, the more intimidated I get.

Because if I've learned nothing else, it's this: It's hard to write well.

Image courtesy of Phaistoon, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

And the thing is, you don't really "get there". There's always classes, trends, workshops, inspirations, and insights that tweak the writing of even the most prolific of authors. While many successful writers have eschewed the classes and critique partners, you still see progress in their writing from the first book to their most recent.

All of this means it's really intimidating to knock of the door of the publishing world and say, "Hello, I'm ready."

When I first decided to pursue writing for real, my first stop was a GRW conference. My story idea garnered some attention and I gleefully sent off my submissions, excited that I could be the one in a million that gets to succeed right away.

Oh, the bliss of ignorance. I know cringe and crawl under a table when I think of the sample pages I sent to some editors last year.

But now, I've grown. My writing has grown. Several people who actually know something have said it's ready to go. And I find myself again in the happy position of having attracted some interest through query letters and conference meets.

I've had my packets ready to go for about two weeks now.

But still, I sat on them.

I began playing hours of video games and reality television. I was staying up to ridiculous hours, filling myself with mindless junk, until suddenly it hit me: I'm scared.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I'm not scared they'll reject me. That will make me sad, but it isn't really that scary.

No, I'm scared they won't reject me. Because if they like it and they take it then that means I'm suddenly supposed to know something. I've gone beyond the student to having arrived somewhere. I would have credentials and they'd expect me to turn around and do it again.

Potential success is terrifying!

But giving up isn't an option, so yesterday I held my breath and hit send. I thought I would throw up. There's still a long road to travel to publication. Don't expect to buy my book on a shelf as a Christmas present this year. But, as Lao-tzu said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

I'm stepping out. I may fall and slide right back to the beginning, but that's okay. I will have seen a little higher up the mountain.

What are you afraid to try? What's stopping you - fear of failure or fear of success?

Background Stress ~ Life Lessons from a Mobile Phone Battery

Mobile phones have become essential to many people's daily lives. Many people have even stopped home phone service because their mobiles have become the only phone they use. Now, smartphones and expansive data packages have increased the amount of attention we pay to our phones.

See how far phones have come in this display of Ericson cellphone. Picture from Wikimedia Commons

The first cell phone my family got was actually a car phone. It was semi-permanently mounted in the car. Taking it out required a large battery compartment that you carried around in a bag. Now my phone is semi-permanently attached to my body.

It's caused me to notice something recently.

The battery life has suddenly decreased dramatically.

Phones are so much more than phones now. I play games, check email, text, control my computer remotely, listen to music, use it as an alarm clock, read books, and, oh yeah, make phone calls. All of that means my phone is, or at least feels, essential to me. When it dies, I feel very lost, so this shortened battery life is very concerning.

I set out to discover why my battery was suddenly dying in the middle of the afternoon instead of making it well into the evening. It turned out two applications I had recently loaded were doing some extensive work in the background. Even when I wasn't using them, they were sucking up my phone's resources.

Life is like a phone. When we're young, life seems so much simpler. Most of the time there was only one thing to focus on. Our most difficult decision in a day might be whether Barbie wanted to ride her horse or drive in her car. The older we get, the more hats we put into our repertoire.

I look around now and realize I'm a wife, a mother, a writer, a minister, a daughter... the list goes on and on. I'm not sure I could even make a comprehensive list of all the roles I play sometimes.

Wikimedia Commons

What I've noticed is that sometimes these roles will drain my strength and energy even when I'm not focusing on them. I could be playing a game with my children and part of my mind is thinking about an upcoming church event. Or I'm working on my book and have to stop to write an email to a family member that just keeps niggling at my mind.

A game I play once every other day or so was taking up so much of my phone that at times I couldn't make a phone call or take a picture because the battery had gotten so low. Stress, worry, and a host of other issues related with stretching yourself through life can pull at you until there's nothing left to give whatever is in front of you at that moment.

In 1 Peter 5:7 God commands us to cast all our cares upon Him. God's battery is unlimited. He is uniquely able to carry all of your issues without losing strength, hope, or focus.

What is it for you? Are you thinking about work instead of focusing on a conversation with your spouse? Is waiting for test results (whether your own or a family member's) affecting your ability to worship?

I've changed the settings on that game so that it only runs when I'm actually playing it. What settings do you need to change in your life?

The God Box ~ Jacob's Journal

New column! Starting this month, I'll be welcoming a regular visitor to my blog every month - my darling husband, Jacob. I love discussing theology with my husband and frequently marvel at his ability to explain things. I hope you enjoy his bits of wisdom as much as I do. 

As a side note, sometimes he likes to use the "big words". If I looked up a word or concept while reading his article, I added a link in case you need to look it up as well. 

Luke 10:27 HCSBLove the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.

Too many Christians today tend to live their lives compartmentalized. Our lives are divided up into little sections or rooms, like a house. There’s the living room, the kitchen, the school room, the playroom, the music room, the TV room, the bathroom, and the somewhere in the house they have a God room.

For some people the God Room is a tiny closet where they have to duck under the coats just to close the door. For others it is a grand an elaborately decorated space, kept pristine and perfect and separated from everything else. 

We go to the God Room on Wednesdays or Sundays or whatever day it is convenient for us to get a god fix. Some even visit the room every morning and then firmly shut the door before going to the next room. We go through life thinking we can carry God around in a little God box.

Our lives have become compartmentalized to the point that church, work, school, God, family, and every other aspect has its own little space and we do not let them mingle.

God did not intend for us to live with our lives divided in such a way, particularly when it comes to a relationship with Him. He wants us to live holistically with Him.

At times divisions are good and even important. There is some merit to having different personas for different circumstances as different situations have varying expectations. For instance, my father-in-law (we'll call him FIL) has two very distinct personas. Business FIL and Family FIL.

I have had the opportunity to work in business with him before and there is a distinct difference in the way he deals with people in both modes. It is quite funny to be hanging out with Family FIL, laughing and joking and playing jokes on each other, only to have the phone ring. When he receives a business call, Business FIL magically appears.

I learned early on that my wife inherited this gene. She has Business Kristi, Family Kristi, and a special adaptation I have named Phone Call Kristi. Author/Blogging Kristi is a strange combination of all of them. It's pretty fun to watch.   

But back to FIL. Business FIL is a great guy. His employees and bosses alike love him. Family FIL is a great father/father-in-law/granddad. But no matter what mode FIL is in, there’s one thing everyone knows about him: He’s a Christian. It is a part of who he is holistically, no matter what personality he puts on the outside.

The thing is, God shouldn't just have a room in your house, even if it is the best room in your house. He should be the foundation of the entire thing.

“The Christian faith isn’t a compartment or room in a house to be kept secret or hid away. It is the foundation on which the house should sit. It is the foundation by which you build your entire life, and every compartment must sit on your faith.
 That means you let your faith bleed through every single area of your life. You should be a Christian at work, with friends and enemies, with your spouse, on your Myspace or Twitter, behind closed doors, and every living and breathing second of your life.
You should live for God, breathe for God, sing for God, read about God, pray to God, fear God, strive to be Godly.” (Are You A Compartmentalized Christian? Judge Yourself!, Revelation.co, September 18, 2009)

Compartmentalization of our faith is one of the biggest issues with Christianity in America today. It makes us look like hypocrites... well, I guess it makes us hypocrites. We want our spiritual void filled, but we don’t want to have to live with it all the time.

God calls us to love Him with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength. When you give it all, there’s nothing left to divide.

Do you have difficulty letting God into every room in your life? What do you try to keep separate?