Monday, March 31, 2014

Things You Can Only Do At A Writers Group

Yesterday I read this article about Three Things You Can Only Do At Church. Every bit of it is true. How interesting that the definition of acceptable behavior is so tied in to the activity or location.

Which, of course, made me think about how that applied to writing. And I began thinking about all the things that are only acceptable in a group of writers.

1. Openly discuss various ways of murdering someone/hiding the body. 

This happens disturbingly often, particularly if you have any suspense writers in the group. I have many friends that wonder if an internet-watching government agency has a file on them based on their Google searches.

A variation of this for the less gruesome among us involves contemplating ways to utterly ruin a person's life. Seriously. It's like a torture think tank.

2. "Oh my goodness, I love what you just said. Hold on, let me write that down before I forget it. You don't mind if I use that do you?"

Yes. I have heard and said this on more than one occasion. Writers are flattered and excited. "Normal" people look at you like you have a screw loose.

3. Have a career without ever getting paid.

It won't do much for your bank account, but your self-esteem might enjoy it. If you are a writer, you claim being a writer, whether you've ever gotten paid for it or not. Outside of the ring of authordom, this conversation gets a little awkward.

Person: What do you do?
Me: I'm a writer.
Person: What do you write?
Me: I writer Christian Regencies (although I'm about to totally steal Patty Smith Hall's line and start saying I write Regencies from a Christian Worldview.)
Person: gets excited "Yeah? Do you have any books with you?" (Or some variation of that)
Me: I'm not actually published yet. Soon, though. I'm working on it.
Person: awkward silence

4. Admit to the myriad of voices and personalities swarming through your head.

"Writers aren't people exactly. Or, if they're any good, they're a whole lot of people trying so hard to be one person." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

That. Pretty much.

5. Wear a costume. 

I know writers what wear corsets, kilts, and other genre related paraphernalia. It's not quite Comic Con or anything, but it would draw a strange look or two out in public.

Fellow authors, chime in below! What do you have to add to the list?

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